Episode Guide
by Aussie Chick Fan
Summary: What I would have liked to have happened after the end of the show.
1. Our beginings, Will they end?

Title: Episode Guide - The Fall Session  
  
Author: Aussie Chick Fan aka AussieChick  
  
Email: pike03@iprimus.com.au  
  
Rating: PG-13, but it will have a bit of sex in later parts!  
  
Category: Every one, but mostly Jake and Hamilton. Plus Ryder and Morgana.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, except for Mr Fujiwara, Morgana, Yuka Higashi and Ken Sanigi but I wish I did.  
  
Summary: What I would have like to happen in the Fall season of YA, read it and find out what might have happened! Oh, Sean has left the show in my mind. Sean's grandmother had died and left her estate to his parents, so they had decided to leave New Rawley and move to California, where his grandmother had lived.   
  
Spoilers: The entire first and only season of the best show I've ever seen.  
  
Thanks: To my muse! And anyone who is obsessed as I am about Young Americans.  
  
Feedback: Yes Please, this is my 1st fanfic and I would love to hear from you. I hope to make this fanfic an ongoing storyline, so if there's something you would like to see happen, or you think should happen just drop me a message via my email.  
  
The Fall Session  
  
*Part One*  
  
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JAKE  
  
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I got off my bike and pushed it into the hiding spot that Hamilton had shown me only a few months earlier, I smiled when I thought of Hamilton. I couldn't wait to see him; it had after all been almost a week since he came to New York for a visit. As I walked up towards the boy's dorms I rolled my shoulders, trying to shake off the tension left behind from the long drive from New York. I wondered briefly if my stuff had arrived at the dorms yet, but mostly I worried about seeing Finn for the first time since the showering incident. I had waited all summer break for a letter or a phone call telling me that I couldn't come back to Rawley boys, but it never happened.  
  
I was surprised to see the door to my room open, but as I got closer I could see Hamilton inside pottering around. I almost broke out into a run, when I realised that he was so close to me but I managed to control myself. Hamilton turned around at that moment and spotted me hovering outside the door. "So are you gonna come inside or are you going to spend the whole Fall session out there in the hall?" his rude question was softened with a wink and a smile, which he tossed in my direction, before he walked forward and pulled me inside the room closing the door behind me.   
  
"I missed you so much!" I said before bringing his lips down on mine, our noses squashed together, as the kiss became more passionate.  
  
Hamilton kissed me back with so much love and passion that I was kind of hoping it would never stop, but the I remembered the need for oxygen. Gasping for air I pulled a way, "So I see you've already moved your stuff in." I looked around my once single room and took in the extra bed and desk.  
  
"Yeah, well you said you wanted me to...." Hamilton looked unsure of himself for a moment. I felt bad; I hoped he wasn't remembering the last time moving in had come up. I had been such a bitch, but it seemed like a lifetime a way and when Hamilton was leaving to catch the train back to New Rawley last week, I felt like I would never see him again. The past week had been so amazing and I had realised that what I had been worried about the most, about not being able to come back to Rawley boys, was not being able to spend time with Hamilton. I wanted to spend every minute of everyday with him, so I asked him if he still wanted to move in with me. He said he did and he left with biggest smile on his face.  
  
I must admit I didn't expect him to move in so quickly, but I definitely still wanted him here. I quickly reassured him that he was more that welcome, wanted even. "I see my stuff arrived safely,' I said seeing the boxes that covered my bed and desk. 'I had to pack heaps more stuff this time."  
  
"Why ?" asked Hamilton, turning his head on the side a looking closely at me patiently waiting for my answer.  
  
"Well I have two identities now, I had to bring clothes for Jake, and Jacqueline. Plus Fall session is longer than summer!" It was a relief in a way that Scout and Will knew my secret. I knew I could trust them to keep it safe, and it meant that I got to be myself a little more often.  
  
Hamilton looked around our room; he appeared to be counting all of the boxes that covered almost every available surface in the room. He smiled, "I see, so as much as I want to spend the day alone with you locked in this room unpacking...'he raised his eyebrows in mock horror, 'Should we go see if we can find the others? I know that you're dying to see Bella." Hamilton touched my face with the tips of his fingers as he asked me my preference for the day's activities.  
  
"You know me so well. Do you mind if we go see the others?" I asked him as I leaned up to kiss his lips. I was already gathering up the keys to my bike before he could answer but his hand was already on the door, so I knew we were of the same mind. As much as we missed each other, we had also missed our new friends.  
  
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BELLA  
  
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I wiped my hands on an oily rag as I walked out of the garage. I couldn't believe it was still ours, the bank had given us a loan and we had been able to purchase it. Everything was back to normal, but my relationship with my mother would never be the same again. She had already broken my heart twice in my lifetime and I didn't think I could stand it a third time.   
  
All in all it had been a pretty eventful summer. I longed to see Scout to tell him that we're not brother and sister. I wondered if I would see Jake again soon, she did say she was coming back but I had yet to see her, and I wondered what was going to happen with Will. Would he get his scholarship funding back? I also wondered if he knew about Sean.   
  
I had just finished fixing a car when a bus stoped at the bus stop across the road, in front of Friendly's. I waited impatiently for it to leave so I could see whom it had stoped for. I started to cross the road just as the bus took off, I smiled when I realised that the bus had left behind Will and Scout. "Well, it's about time you two were getting back, school starts tomorrow!" I laughed as Will rushed forward to sweep me off my feet in a big bear hug.  
  
"Yeah, well we're back now so no need to call out the National Guard!" Scout replied taking over when Will had let me go.  
  
God, I had missed this, having his arms around me. I couldn't wait to tell him the truth, yet in a way I was scared. Did he still feel the same? I guess I could tell him now before I chicken out, but I really should wait until we are alone. The decision was taken out of my hands when the roar of Jake's motorbike reached us from across the street. Both Jake and Hamilton joined our group. After exchanging hugs and greetings, I suggested that we go over to Friendly's so we could all sit down and catch up.  
  
I took Jake's hand and led her to a table at the back of the diner, leaving the guy's to order. "I'll have a Chocolate Thick-shake Boys, and Jake will have a...." I looked at her expectantly, "I'll have a Cherry Spider, thanks." She finished watching the guy's head towards the counter.  
  
"Do you think Scout will start working here again?" Jake asked after we had sat down, her eyes still locked on Hamilton.  
  
"I don't know. Hey Jake, can I tell you something?" I asked, I looked over at the guys and noticed that Hamilton was busy watching Jake as well.  
  
"Sure, is it about the garage? You know I was so happy for you when I got your letter telling me about the loan." Jake turned and looked at me, waiting patiently for my reply.  
  
"No, I asked my mum about my father and she told me that it's not Scout's dad. It was one of Charlie's friends." I held my breath, waiting for her reaction to my brief but informative statement.  
  
"Well, that's good news right?" Jake asked, turning her attention fully on our conversation. "I mean now you guy's can be together, that is what you want isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah I guess but what if Scout's feelings for me have changed. Besides I don't know if we could ever be together, after all we did spend the whole summer thinking that we were brother and sister." My voice faded to a whisper, when I noticed that Scout, Will and Hamilton had almost reached our table. This conversation would have to put on hold until Jake and I could be alone again.  
  
Jake must have spotted the guy's about the same time as I did because she leaned over the table and hissed, "You need to tell Scout, no matter what. He has a right to know." She sat back a quick smile coming on to her face, I was a bit surprised to see it, after we had just been having a pretty serious conversation. Maybe, I thought to myself she had heard one of the guy's say something funny. I had just decided that this must be true, when she stood up and raced to the counter. Hamilton and the rest of us were left standing, watching her from across the room. We could only speculate on what she said to Brian the owner of Friendly's, but none of us really had a clue. At the same time Jake turned to face us, her face lit up, her eyes shiny and bright, Brian reached under the counter to fiddle with the volume knob on the radio.  
  
I laughed when I heard the beginning notes of a favourite song of mine, and it hit me what Jake was up to. "Oh you and your ABBA obsession,' I said as I danced my way over to where she was singing the first few words of 'Dancing Queen', 'I still blame you for me trashing my dad's truck." It was said with a smile, so that she would know that I was joking.  
  
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HAMILTON  
  
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It was good to see my friends again. I was eager to find out about their trip to St. Martin, but I kept missing bits and pieces of what they were saying due to the fact that I couldn't keep my eyes of my beautiful girlfriend. At times it still amazed me that I could have ever thought that she was a boy. Everything about Jake was so slender and just screamed 'girl'. Watching her now anyone could see she was all girl. I tried to swallow as I watched Jake and Bella sing and dance around the diner, it was getting hard for me to breath as my eyes attached themselves to the sensual movement of Jake's hips swaying in time to the music.  
  
I had to shake my head to clear it. I noticed that Scout appeared to be suffering from the same love struck symptoms as myself, so I ignored him and spoke to Will. "So, I guess you know that my dad convinced the board of trusties to fund your scholarship." It was a statement not a question, I assumed he already knew so I was kind of surprised when he start jumping around like an idiot. "I'll take that to mean that you had no idea." I said when the jumping had stoped and the girls had joined us again.  
  
"No, I had no idea. I guess no one knew how to contact me. Oh, man this is so cool, I thought I would have to wait until next year for a scholarship to come up." Will's smile covered his entire face. "This is going to be so great all us together this Fall..." Will said.  
  
"Not all of us." said Bella cutting Will off.   
  
"Yeah but even though you don't go to Rawley you still a part of this, a part of us." I said trying to express how we all felt. Bella looked at me and smiled.  
  
"Thanks Hamilton." she said, giving me a quick hug.  
  
We all sat down finally, Jake slid in next to me and put her hand on my knee. I wanted to kiss her sad badly, but I understood what the hand on my knee meant. Jake was telling me without words, that she wanted to be close to me and touch me but she had to hide the impulse because we were in a public place. So instead of giving into my impulse and kissing her, I put my hand on her knee. I had lost track of the conversation again, so when Will leaned over and punched me in the arm to get my attention I was at a loss, as to what he wanted from me. "What?" I asked, rubbing my arm damn that hurt.  
  
"I was trying to ask you if you enjoyed your trip to New York to visit Jake, but I'm guessing from the way your brain has forgotten how to function, now that Jake is sitting next to you, that the answer to that question would be an enthusiastic 'yes'". Will said, not even trying to hide his amusement.  
  
I had to admit he was right, only my brain didn't cease to function, when I was around Jake; it just ceased to recognise anything but her. Even now she was running little circles on my thigh with her fingers, driving me insane. With a strangled moan I announced, "You just wait until some girl gets her hands wrapped around your heart Krudski, you won't stand a chance!"  
  
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SCOUT  
  
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I tried not to stare at Bella, but I had really missed her over the summer break and it had been tearing me up, thinking about her spending all of her free time with Sean. I couldn't stop thinking about her the whole time Will and I were in St. Martins, and even now when she was right in front of me I just wanted to reach out and touch her. I needed to know that she was real. It was slaying me trying to listen to everyone's conversations and stories, all I wanted to do was be alone with Bella so I could find out whether she asked her mum about us or not.  
  
It was the laughter that got my attention; everyone was going crazy over something amusing. I was sorry that I missed it; I could really do with a good laugh. I wanted to ask what had been so funny, but then everyone would know that I hadden't been listening. And they would all know why, so I said nothing but I forced myself to pay attention to the conversation going on around me.  
  
"Is that so?" Will asked, looking at Hamilton.  
  
"Yeah, and I hope I'm there to witness it." said Hamilton in reply.  
  
"Me too." said Jake, nodding her head in agreement.  
  
I couldn't understand a word they were saying so I decided to let my mind wander. I wondered when Bella and I would get a chance to talk alone. Maybe I should ask her if she wants to do something after this? Maybe not, but before I could lose my nerve I was asking her if we could talk privately later. All of our friends went suspiciously quiet, as I waited for her answer.  
  
"I umm....I can't Charlie has to got to Carson later to pick up a special part and I promised him that I would watch the garage." Bella's response was a bit rushed and almost audible, but I knew she wasn't ready to be alone with me yet. It hurt, it really did but my pain was eased because I knew she hurt too. At least we could have that in common.   
  
Almost straight away I felt like a snake, I never wanted her to feel pain, what was I thinking? As much as I wanted everything to work out between us, I knew that it probably wouldn't. After all this was real life, not some dumb teenage show on TV. I wanted to get up and leave sitting here was killing me but I didn't want to upset my friends, so I stayed and I listened.  
  
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WILL  
  
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Bella looked like she wanted to say something so I thought I'd break the ice, "So I got a letter from Sean, telling me about his Grandmother and everything. Are you okay with all of it?" I asked her trying to read her facial expression; it wasn't one that I had witnessed before.  
  
"Yeah, we decided to give the long-distance relationship thing a miss." Bella replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "He didn't want to leave, I think he was scared of being so far away from New Rawley and us but his parent's had already made up their minds about going and they wouldn't back down."   
  
I saw her look quickly over at Scout, for the briefest of moments before turning back to me. Scout had been watching her too, ever since we stepped off the bus, he looked like he wanted to ask her about Sean but he wouldn't let himself. Must be true what they say about 'absence making the heart grow fonder', it would be obvious to a blind man that they were still in love with each other. I didn't envy them for their struggle to do the right thing, the moral thing. I did wonder briefly if Bella had asked her mum about Scout's dad being her dad, while we were gone, but I figured it she had and the news had been good then she would have told us straight away, when she met us at the bus stop. So I concluded that it must have been not so good.  
  
I tried not to smile but I couldn't help but be a little excited I had somewhere to live again, somewhere to fit in or try to fit in again. I could believe that Hamilton's dad, the Dean and gone to bat for me, so to speak. I knew that Finn must have had something to do with it, and I made a mental note to say thanks to him later.  
  
Unfortunately, Hamilton's other comment, the one about my love life now had me feeling a little disturbed. Why? I wasn't sure, but I wished that I had someone special in my life, who I could fight with, be in love with and who could drive me a little insane some times. Hamilton and Jake had one another and Scout and Bella at least shared a love for one another even if they couldn't be together, but what did I have? Nothing, a few dates with the occasional girl but nothing, or know one had a hole of my heart.  
  
I looked up it was dark outside and my friends were getting ready to leave. As I opened the door to the diner and waited for my friends to file out past me, I wondered momentary if I would ever find love. After all my own father didn't even love me, how could I even begin to hope that someone else might?  
  
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FINN  
  
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My hand was on the doorknob, when I heard someone knock on the door from the other side. I open the door not really knowing what to expect, and found the Dean standing there getting ready to knock again. "Oh, you are here. I thought I might have missed you." Dean Flemming said instead of a greeting.  
  
"No, but I was just on my way out. Will this take long do you think?" I replied, unsure of what he wanted.  
  
"Not at all I just wanted to talk to you about your class plans for the Fall session, and tell you about our new Japanese teacher, mr Fujiwara. The board has decided that it would be a good idea to introduce the students to another language. The classes will be Co-Ed offcourse and you will need to organise to take several classes together, both English and Japanese. We will also be having two Japanese exchange students coming to Rawley. One to Rawley girls and one to Rawley boys. We also will be sending two students to Japan. Unfortunately, I had to find students who already had an understanding of the Japanese language. So I had to send two girls." The Dean paused his speech to look down at a piece of paper that he held in his hand. "A miss Paige Bennett and a miss Caroline Busse. Our Japanese exchange students are a miss Yuka Higashi and a mr Ken Sanigi. It will be your job to instruct them on the joys of our English language and our written word." When he was finished the Dean stepped inside the room. I gathered that this was going to take awhile.  
  
I sighed; finally I had thought my life was getting back to normal. The affair with Kate was over and the business with Will's scholarship had been resolved, but I guess I was wrong. Life still had some surprises in store for me. I followed the Dean over to my desk and waited for him to continue.  
  
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MORGANA  
  
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New Rawley was different from what I thought it would be like, I mean dad had been so desperate to get away from here, but it really was a nice place. As I watched the towns people laugh and smile, as they went about their everyday routine, I wondered why I couldn't have been born here. Sure they were all basically lower class and they had worked really hard all their lives, but the people who lived here seemed happy.   
  
I wondered then if dad had ever been happy, he left here in search of something better and then when he finally got it he decided he didn't want it any more. Unfortunately for me when he decided he didn't want the life he had obtained, it meant he left me behind, so he could come back to the one place he had been so desperate to escape years earlier.  
  
It wasn't long before I reached Rawley Academy for Boys and after asking someone for directions I found my dad's room. The door was open so I just walked right in; straight away I noticed how small the two room teaching suit was. It was just a small main room, that consisted of a lounge, two chairs and a desk. There was also a small bar fridge over near a connecting door which must lead to a bedroom.  
  
The next thing I noticed was my dad, he was standing over near his desk talking to a good-looking older man. Another teacher maybe? I cleared my voice; they still had not noticed me yet. "Dad?" I asked, drawing both of the men's attention towards the door. My dad looked star-struck, I wondered briefly if he recognised me. I knew I had changed a lot in the past twelve years since he last saw me, it was funny he looked the same to me, it was as if he had not aged a bit. The only thing that was really different was his hair, it was longer than I remembered and it looked kind of greasy. When neither man spoke, I thought to spur them into action, so I walked over to the desk. As I neared the desk I looked at my father and asked, "What's with the hair Dad? Trying to look younger?" I had his attention now; he leaned towards me as if to get a better look.  
  
"Morgan,' he said in a warning tone, not answering my questions. 'What are you doing here?"   
  
"Well Mum's gone on holiday with husband number six and she'll be gone for over eight months. So, thought it might be a good time to get to know you again after all it has been twelve years since I saw you last!" I was pissed off with him but I quickly forgot my anger when the man standing next to my dad cleared his throat. How embarrassing, I had totally forgotten about his presence. My dad turned to look at the man as if her didn't know where he had come from; obviously he had forgotten he was there also.   
  
"Dean Flemming, this is my Daughter Morgan.' he introduced me to the Dean before turning to me and saying, 'Morgan, this is my Boss Dean Flemming." There was something in his eyes as he looked at me but I couldn't read what it was.  
  
"Nice to meet you Morgan, have you come to join our school then?" The Dean had a kind smile that reached his eyes, I wondered if he had any kids. I knew that he would never leave them behind, in search of a better life.  
  
I was unsure of how to go about answering his question, because I really didn't want to lie to him. "I have all my things out in the car, but I'm not exactly enrolled. I was kind of hopping that I would be able to stay here with Dad and take classes here with him." My voice was full of hope when I said those last few words, because they were as honest as I could have been.  
  
My Dad was shaking his head when I looked at him. "I don't know Morgan, where are you going to sleep? My rooms just are not really big enough for the two of us." He stated his voice sounded strained to me.  
  
"I guess I could sleep on the couch...." I started to say but Dad interrupted me.  
  
"No, that won't do at all. Morgan you're a sixteen year old girl and you wouldn't get any privacy living like that." He looked at a loss and for a moment I began to hope that he might actually want me to stay.  
  
"She could go over to the Girls campus, but it defeats the purpose of you spending time together. I know! Morgan could move into the room next to Mr Pratt, it's just across the hall. You know the one Finn, it used to be the old storage room, but I had it renovated over the Summer break, because Kate and I thought Hamilton might like to move in there but he told us that he wanted to share a room with Jake. So that leaves the room free, what do you think?" Dean Flemming asked, coming to my rescue. I knew that I was going to end up liking him and I couldn't wait to meet his son, he was a lucky boy to have the Dean for his father. I wondered if he looked like his father.  
  
"It could work. What do you think Morgan?" Dad looked at me and kind of smiled but it didn't really reach his eyes. "Now what are we going to do about classes?" he asked.  
  
"I think it's a great idea. When can I move in? Classes? Can't I just go to the classes here, rather than have to go cross the two campuses to get to classes everyday?" I smiled back at Dad, at least he was trying. After I finished speaking I waited for some one to answer my questions.  
  
"You can move in today if you want Morgan, all the furniture is already in the room. I'm not really sure what to do about the classes though. I think the board of trusties might make an exception in your case due to the fact that Finn is your father but I'll have to run it by them first. I don't see why it will be a problem for you to attend classes here on the Boys campus, as long as you are enrolled in as many of the Co-Ed classes as possible. The only problem that I can foresee is the physical education aspect of the curriculum, due to you being a female you really can not take part in the crew team." The Dean looked at my father when he finished his little speech and waited for a solution to reveal itself to us.  
  
"Morgan runs. Cross-country, that kind of thing. She could run after the English part of the lesson is over and the rest of the class is crewing." I was shocked when my Dad mentioned my running; I wasn't aware he even knew I existed, let alone that running was my passion.  
  
"That would work out nicely. Actually our track team is always short a Cross-country runner for all of the meets, maybe this year we can win some races with Morgan on the team. What do you say Morgan are you interested?" The Dean looked relieved that everything had worked out; he looked at me expectantly waiting for my answer.  
  
"I would really love to." I replied, watching him smile.  
  
"Well, I have lots to organise before classes start, so I better be off. Morgan it was very nice to meet you and don't worry I'll go ring the board of trusties now and make sure everything works out.' he finished talking and looked at my Dad, 'Finn the class plans for this Session look fine. I'll see you both later." and with that he was gone.  
  
I turned back to look at Dad, "So, I guess I'll go move in. It was good to see you again Finn." I said and then I turned to leave, we'd both had enough family bonding for one day I'm sure tomorrow will be soon enough for part two of our reconciliation. I was almost at the door when Dad said my named once, his voice was low and serious, obviously we were not quite finished yet. "What?" I asked, turning to face him once again.  
  
"What's with the tattoo Morgan? Trying to piss me off?" He asked his face stormy. It was so like him to use my own questions against me.  
  
"Not really, careful Dad I might begin to think you actually care." I turned and walked to the door. As I reached for the doorknob he spoke again.  
  
"Is it real?" he asked clearly trying to keep his cool.  
  
"It bloody well better be, it cost me five hundred dollars!" I answered and before he could say anything else I opened the door and ran down the hall towards the parking lot.  
  
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RYDER  
  
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Bloody wonderful, I was back at this shit hole for American brats for another whole session. Now that I had successfully alienated the whole population of Rawley Academy, I wondered what more damage I could possible do. I mean Will Krudski and his little group of friends had been most entertaining last session but they also seemed to stick together, so causing trouble in the group wasn't going to be easy. Why, you only needed to look at how they delt with Hamilton and Jake's homosexuality, they didn't even care.  
  
My mind was full of plots and schemes as I entered the dorms, so I didn't see her right away. I walked straight into her, and she was not impressed. She leaned forward and pulled my earphones from my head before rattling off a list of obscenities that even I don't dare to repeat. I smiled at her; she was full of spitfire, a red head she-devil with the greenest eyes that I've ever seen and a body that could make even a dead man happy. She turned then as if to walk away and I noticed a tattoo on her lower back about the size of my hand, it was of a fairy.  
  
I didn't want her to leave yet; I wanted to know whom she was, and what she was doing in the boy's dorms. "Another fine American specimen, are all American girls as slutty as you?" I had barley finished my sentence when she turned around a look of fury etched upon her beautiful face. "British, I should have known!" Was her retort, just before she slapped my face. The sting of her palm against my cheek didn't surprise me as much as the expression on her face after she realised what she had done.   
  
This little princess was trying to be a dragon, but I could see her softness. I looked more closely at what she was wearing, she had one the tightest, smallest pair of denim shorts that I had ever seen on a girl and a pink bikini top, made from leather. Didn't the girl realise that it was Fall? She stood looking at the damage she had inflicted, before shocking me once again. Her eyes lit up as she smiled, and she again reached for my face. I tried not to flinch as she brought her hands up to my face; only inflicting pain wasn't her purpose this time. I barley felt it and it was over before I knew it but she had licked my face where just minutes earlier she had slapped it, as if trying to take the sting inflicted by her hand away. She smiled at me again before saying, "You and me we're going to be very good friends." then she just turned and left before I could stop her.  
  
I stood there in the hall dumbfounded, who was that girl? And what did she mean about us being friends? Her kiss, or her lick had shaken me, I wondered briefly if I had finally met my match.  
  
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HAMILTON  
  
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I had been dying to be alone with Jake all afternoon, but now that we were finally alone I was at a loss. This living together thing was a little strange and would probably take a while to get used to it. I looked around our room and took in all of the chaos that surrounded us. I smiled in Jake's direction before saying, "I really want to make out with you right now but do you think that we could Fung Shi our room first, just to be careful and get the positive Chi flowing? I don't want to tempt fate or anything."  
  
Jake leant against her desk and smiled back at me, "Sure, just tell me what to do, what to move where. I want good Chi too, but let's do this quickly 'cause I want some kissing and snuggling too." she said. We started moving furniture around and before I knew it the room was as Fung Shi, as I could make it. I looked around; the flow of chi would be constrained by my bed. I smiled a solution in mind.  
  
"We should get rid of one of the beds, it would give us heaps more space to move around. Plus it would mean I get to fall asleep every night with you in my arms." I winked at Jake as she crossed the room to her bed; she looked scared all of a sudden I hoped she didn't think I was trying to force the issue of sex. I really just wanted to fall asleep with her in my arms and I want the flow of chi to be natural.  
  
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JAKE  
  
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After I got into bed I turn to face Hamilton, I felt like I wasn't sure what should happen next. I knew that I wasn't ready for a sexual relationship yet, not that I didn't want to be with Hamilton because I really did. I'm just not ready. "Ham,' I said gaining his full attention, 'I still don't think I'm ready to you know, but if you ever just wanna snuggle...." I lifted the edge of quilt in welcome.  
  
I don't think I've every seen Hamilton move as fast as he did in that moment, before I knew what had happened he was jumping in to bed with me. The next thing I knew he was pulling up the covers and he had tugged me into the circle of his arms. At first I thought he had gone to sleep because he was being so quiet, but the he said, "I guess it would look pretty suss if we only had one bed in here, everyone already thinks that we are gay." I looked up at his face to see if he was bothered by the fact that most of the student-body thought that we were gay, but he just smiled at me and kissed me on the forehead.  
  
"I love you Jake. Now go to sleep." He sighed and before I could repeat the vow of love he was fast asleep.   
  
I feel asleep with a smile on my face that night. If I had learned anything over the summer and in the last few weeks, it was that things change. Nothing stays the same forever, and with Hamilton and my friends by my side I wasn't afraid to face what ever was in store for us all next.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
MORGANA  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
I wasn't looking where I was going as I stormed through the hall of Rawley Academy for Boys; all I could think about was seeing my Dad again. It had been weird and a little bit painful. At least he kind of acted like he cared. I wondered again how he knew about my running. I also thought about how he'd called me 'Morgan', he was the only one in the family who didn't call me Morgana. Yet it was ironic because he chose my name when I was born. My Mother had wanted to name me Annabel, but Dad loved Morgana because it was from Sir Thomas Malory's 'Le Morte D'Arthur', one of Dad's favourite prose. But he'd always called me Morgan, I didn't know why he couldn't use my full name and it upset me somewhat, that I had begun to suspect that it was his way of keeping himself and his life separate from me and mine.  
  
I was mentally evaluating the meeting I had just had with my father when an obnoxious, but extremely good-looking guy barrelled into me. He had short blond hair and blue (?) eyes. He was lean and muscular and he moved with the grace of a jungle cat. He had quick reflexes too. When he launched himself at me he knocked me off balance but he was quick to steady me. His strong hands with long graceful fingers grabbed a hold of my upper arms to stop me from my descent towards the floor. He wore an annoyingly smug smirk on his face, as if he was privy to all of the worlds and my private secrets.  
  
My annoyance quickly turned to rage, no doubt he was going to blame me for his lack of attention in the halls and I had already had one hell of a day and it wasn't looking like it was going to get much better anytime soon. I decided to get in first, with a string of obscenities that would impress a sailor, I let him have it. Then I turned to leave but I stopped when he said, "Another fine American specimen, are all American girls as slutty as you?"   
  
"British, I should have known!" Was my retort, just before I slapped his smug face. Oh, my god. I just hit him, how could I have done that it must have been left over anger directed at Dad, after all this poor guy did was has the misfortune to run into me. It was probably mostly my fault any way I wasn't paying any attention.  
  
Unsure of how to continue, I remembered a book that I once read about this girl who fights with a stranger in the middle of the street and slaps his face. The girl in the book realised what she had done and reached over and kissed it better, then she said, "You and me we're going to be very good friends." With that memory in my mind, I leaned over and licked the place of his face, where I had hit with my hand, as I drew away from him I whispered in his ear, "You and me we're going to be very good friends." I saw his look of confusion and tried not to laugh the boy didn't know what had hit. It looked like a bit of an asshole to me but then I always did like a challenge. 


	2. Missplaced Memories and Kindred Spirits

Title: Episode Guide - The Fall Session  
  
Author: Aussie Chick Fan aka AussieChick  
  
Email: pike03@iprimus.com.au  
  
Rating: PG-13, but it will have a bit of sex in later parts!  
  
Category: Every one, but mostly Jake and Hamilton. Plus Ryder and Morgana.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, except for Mr Fujiwara, Morgana, Yuka Higashi and Ken Sanigi but I wish I did. *Note: That the quotes in this fanfic don't belong to me either, I just thought they were cool.*  
  
Summary: What I would have like to happen in the Fall season of YA, read it and find out what might have happened! Oh, Sean has left the show in my mind. Sean's grandmother had died and left her estate to his parents, so they had decided to leave New Rawley and move to California, where his grandmother had lived. Morgana is Finn's estranged daughter. Yuko and Ken are Japanese exchange students.  
  
Spoilers: The entire first and only season of the best show I've ever seen. The first chapter of The Fall Session.  
  
Thanks: To my muse! And anyone who is obsessed as I am about Young Americans.  
  
Feedback: Yes Please, this is my 1st fanfic and I would love to hear from you. I hope to make this fanfic an ongoing storyline, so if there's something you would like to see happen, or you think should happen just drop me a message via my email.  
  
The Fall Session  
  
*Part Two - Misplaced Memories and Kindred Spirits*  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Monday  
  
Will's voice over:- Memories...we make them everyday, from joking with friends to fighting with parents. Some we'd rather forget and others we cherish. Where does it end? All our lives we try to fill in the spaces of time with fond memories which we will be able to look back on in the future with self-actualisation. Generally we find ourselves not really knowing where we've been or where we're heading next, our logic is based on our fears of some day realising our full potential has already been reached and that we missed it. Time passes us by so slowly, yet in reality we never have enough and as the hour grows near the future fades like sunlight in the rain. We know even as the day's pass and time moves further and further from our grasp that one wrong move can unravel it all.   
  
***********************************************************************  
  
FINN  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I waited for everyone to find a seat, it was the first day of classes for the Fall Session and it was my turn. I let my eyes and my mind wander as I looked around the classroom. I had decided to take today's lesson inside, due to the rather scary-looking thunder clouds that were hanging in the sky outside. I sighed and wondered whether the eminent storm was a sign of things to come.  
  
  
  
I sat on my desk as I waited for the class to file in and be seated. I looked up just as Morgan walked in the room; I had not seen my Daughter since our brief but full-on reunion yesterday. She looked just like her mother had at sixteen and I felt a rush of feelings that I thought had disappeared a long time ago. I wondered if she would acknowledge me, or if I should acknowledge her?   
  
I was relieved to see that she was dressed a little more...well just, she had more clothes on than she had worn yesterday. I watched as she took a seat in the front row, and I found myself wondering if she had seated herself there because she was eager to learn about literature, or if she just wanted to put me off-balance during class? Maybe she really did just want to be close to me? Did I want that?  
  
It took me a minute to realise that the whole class had arrived and were patiently waiting for me to begin, in reality the roar of a lion could not have been heard over the noise that was coming from the twenty or so students seated in front of me. I cleared my throat, "Welcome back everyone. I trust you all had a satisfying break?' not waiting for a response I continued. 'In this class we will be looking at the works of Charlotte Bronte, Jane Austin, Henry Miller, Joseph Hiller, John Steinbeck, William Faulkner, Ernest Hemingway, and offcourse we will be continuing with my favourite William Shakespeare. I will endeavour to help grant you all a clearer, more profound understanding of English literature. We will also be looking at poems, sonnets and songs, but this weeks topic is quotations."   
  
I stopped and looked around the room taking in the new faces, and when I was satisfied that everyone was paying attention, I continued. "Your assignment this week to be completed by our next class, is based on quotations. I want everyone to prepare two quotes, they can be from anything or anywhere, but they must mean something to you. You must be prepared to discuss them with the class, by explaining why you chose them, what they mean, where they're from etc."  
  
I spent the rest of the class answering questions and explaining the fine art of referencing. When the bell for lunch rang, I had to ask everyone to remain in their seats as I still had one more thing to tell them. "Look I'll try not to keep you too long, okay? I just wanted to share with you a little of my favourite writer, by quoting a few lines from 'Romeo and Juliet'."  
  
I started to reach for my well-used and much-loved copy of 'The Complete Works of William Shakespeare', but then I changed my mind. Standing up I walked over to the blackboard at the front of the class room and wrote from memory:  
  
Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied;  
  
And vice sometime's by action dignified.  
  
"I will always remember this quote where ever I go. It's meaning to me is something important, therefore I will always remember it. Now I knew it word for word, that is what I want from you, I want you to speak it, to know it, to breath it, to live it!" I said. I smiled the whole class seemed to be deep in thought; I could not wait until the next lesson. I wondered what these young people would have to say, and what they would think was important to hear.  
  
"You can go now.' I told them, 'But anyone who wants to know about this quote,' I said pointing to the board. 'Should probably stay behind." I was surprised when no one moved; it appeared that they all wanted to hear my explanation.   
  
"I first read 'Romeo and Juliet', when I was fourteen.' I explained, 'My English teacher told me that it had a lot of action, and she wasn't wrong, but what I really got from it was my love of Shakespeare. This particular quote sticks in my mind because as much as we try sometimes to do the right things, we often end-up doing the wrong thing. Nothing is ever as it seems, and that is what I get from this quote. However, in the play Friar Lawrence is trying to explain the values of deadly plants as drugs. So, what you get from your quote doesn't have to be what the author intended, we can only guess what a writer has intended to say through his or her work, we never really know. Sometimes the author doesn't have any hidden meaning or lesson in what he or she has written, they just expect you the reader to personalise it and get what you can from it."  
  
I watched as they all stood and collected their belongings. I really wanted to talk to Morgan, but I had to talk to Will and Lena. "Will and Lena,' I asked. 'Could you stay behind please? I really need to speak to the both of you."   
  
***********************************************************************  
  
WILL  
  
'Ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child.  
  
Softly spoken under our blanket skies  
  
and rescue me from me, and all  
  
that I believe.'  
  
Galapogos, The Smashing Pumpkins.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I waited as everyone else left Finn's classroom in search of sustenance. Jake, Hamilton and Scout offered to wait for me while I talked to Finn, but I told them I would catch up to them later. As I watched them leave the room, I walked over to where Finn was cleaning the blackboard, wanting to talk to him before the girl he called Lena joined us. "I wanted to say thank you for your help with getting me the funding for my scholarship." I said, when he turned around to face me.  
  
Finn brushed the chalk dust from his hands and said, "I didn't really do anything, but your thanks is noted and accepted. What I wanted to talk to you about was the English tute program. You are still interested?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, offcourse. Why? Do you have someone who needs my help?" I prompted.  
  
Finn waited until Lena had joined us, before continuing. After introducing the two of us he said, "The Dean asked me to pick two of my students to help settle in the Japanese exchange students. Since your on the tutor list Will, I thought you might want to be involved, and Lena your old school mentioned in your transcripts, that you used to be involved in their English tutor program and that you speak Japanese.' Finn looked at the pretty girl, named Lena, 'So Lena, I thought you might also be interested. Both of you will take one student each, but you can work together if you wish. Are you interested?" he asked us both.  
  
"Yeah, sure.' I heard us both answer, 'I wondered about the new Japanese course and the exchange students but I haven't had a Japanese lesson yet, so I wasn't really sure what was truth and what was fiction. Will this be an official tute assignment?" I asked.  
  
"Probably, only instead of the student paying you, you will be paid by the Academy. Can you meet them now?" Finn inquired. When we both replied 'yes', he continued. "Will, you will need to meet her in the Common room in about ten minutes time, so you better leave now. Here is all the information you need to know, just work on the assignment for next lesson and give her a tour."  
  
Finn passed me a stack of papers and booklets, "Her?" I questioned. He looked down at the remaining sheet in his hands and replied, "Yeah, a miss Yuko Higashi." I waited for Finn to give his instructions to Lena then I followed her out the door. She was an attractive girl, with scarlet hair and pale skin. She was dressed in some maroon coloured baby-doll dress that just covered her hips. The colour looked striking with her hair and complexion, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would be able to see her underwear if I was to walk behind her. The dress was really short but she had great legs. I watched as we walked into the Common room, almost all of the guys in the room were staring at her legs and I had an urge to blind them all.  
  
I found myself wanting to get to know her better, wanting to be the only one who got to see her fantastic legs. I could almost feel her legs wrapped around my waist, as I kissed her pretty lips. I smiled to myself when I realised who she was, Lena was the girl who had kissed Jake, thinking she was a guy. I wondered what she would say if she ever found out that she had kissed a girl and not a guy last summer. I watched Lena as she crossed the room to the attractive boy with black hair who waited for her to guide him around Rawley Academy and I found myself envying him. As I turned to look for Yuko, I thought about how I should go about getting to know Lena better.  
  
I spotted a Japanese-looking girl standing over the other side of the room and I headed in her direction. As I approached her I thought more about the new feelings and sensations that I was feeling, and I decided not to pursue them. Lena seemed like a nice, intelligent girl and if she was as smart as I thought she was she wouldn't be interested in me. Any thoughts I might have had about getting to know her better faded, I would only be wasting my time and if by some cruel twist of fate she happened to be interested in me too, it would only end in heartache.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
YUKO  
  
'You and me disappear together.  
  
Now our bodies fade into one person.'  
  
(Anata to futari de kono mama kiteshimaoo  
  
Ima anata no karada ni tokete hitotsu ni kasanaroo)  
  
Loversoul, Judy and Mary.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
America the land of the free and the place where dreams come true, I was finally here. I have been heading in this direction for most of my life, just waiting for the correct time to make my move. I had always dreamt of coming here or maybe even Australia, every one is so free and society is so relaxed, not at all like in Japan. It feels strange to finally be here. There are so many things I want to do and see; yet I am here to go to school, to learn. I wonder about what I will learn here.  
  
Will my language improve? Not that my language is so bad, having a best friend who speaks both Japanese and English as if it were their native language helps to ensure a smooth transition and quick learning. But what will I learn about life? About love? That I don't already know?  
  
I had been in love since I was six years old, with the little boy who lived next-door. One day I fell off my bike and broke my leg, he spent the whole summer keeping me company and while he told be about a place called Australia, where his parents were born and kangaroos and koalas kept sick children entertained, I fell in love with him. Now ten years later, I love him still. He is my best friend, my confidant, the one person in the world who knows all of my most private thoughts and secrets, except for the most important one. That I'm in love with him.  
  
When I found out that I had been chosen to come to America on exchange I didn't want to come because I knew that I would have to leave him behind, but then he volunteered to be the second student when the school had trouble finding another student who was willing to go to America for a whole year and whom spoke and understood English. I couldn't believe how ecstatic I was, my dream was coming true and Ken would be there to share it with me but now I wasn't so sure. We had been fighting since we arrived in America and I had no idea what his problem was. I met him this morning to try and reconcile, only to have my head bitten off and now here we were in the same room but as far away from each other as two people can be.  
  
I watched as a pretty girl with red hair walked over to the lounge chair where he was sitting and introduced herself to him. I wondered if she was his English tutor, it was a joke really, he didn't need one but the Academy had insisted on providing us both with a tutor each. I wondered if he thought she was pretty? Prettier than me? He seemed enthusiastic in his conversation with her; I decided then that he would probably fall in love with her. Maybe it was time I looked elsewhere too, after all I was in a whole new country now, which meant a whole country of new guys to fall in love with. I knew it would never happen; I was already too far-gone.  
  
"Yuko?" a cute guy with sandy coloured hair was standing to my left, asked me for my name. I wondered how long he had been standing there trying to gain my attention. I felt myself blush he must have thought that I was completely ignorant. "Yes, I'm sorry. You must be Will, it's very nice to meet you." I replied turning all my attention in the direction of our conversation.  
  
"It's nice to meet you too.' he respond in kind. 'Your English is very good."  
  
It was a statement not a question and I didn't really know how to answer. "I had a good teacher,' I said and left it at that. 'Perhaps you could give me a tour and we could discuss possible quotes for Finn's class." Will nodded his affirmation and took my hand leading me from the Common room. With one last look over my shoulder I noticed that Ken and the girl had already left. I sighed as I hurried after Will, why couldn't I have fallen in love with someone other than my best friend?  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
LENA  
  
'I always eat for a headache.'  
  
Barbara Streisand as Katie, in The Way We Were.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I walked over to where Finn was standing with the guy he called Will and waited for him to address me. I was new to Rawley, so I was unsure why Finn wanted to talk to me. I took the time to check out the guy called Will, I wondered briefly whether or not his name was short for William. If it was it suited him, William meaning 'Desire to protect'. He had that look about him, the strong silent type but he was different, deeper than most. He was cute with light brown hair, and a nice body but what held my attention, what made me want to get to know him better was his intensity. I thought to myself, 'I bet he has many layers to his personality' and I found myself wanting to unwrap each and every one of them. I wished at that moment that I had my sketchpad with me so that I could draw him; my fingers itched to trace the line of his strong jaw and to capture it on paper.  
  
I had seen him before I realised belatedly, he was one of Jake and Hamilton's friends. I concluded that he must be a good guy; otherwise Jake and Hamilton wouldn't be friends with him. When Finn started to talk, I had to force myself to pay attention to what was been said. Funny, but Will had not spoke a word to me, yet he had my complete and undivided attention.  
  
"The Dean asked me to pick two of my students,' Finn said, 'Lena your old school mentioned that you used to be involved in their English tutor program and that you speak Japanese.' Finn looked at me before saying, 'So Lena, I thought you might also be interested. Are you interested?"  
  
Both Will and myself were happy to volunteer. I could use the extra money and besides it could be a lot fun. I stood quietly waiting while Finn explained what our job would entail. "Lena you will need to meet Ken in the Common room too, so you both should probably leave now if you want to be on time. Lena your student's full name is Ken Sanigi. I guess I'll see you both next lesson in the mean time if you have any questions, you're both welcome to come see me in my office." Finn concluded.  
  
Will waited patiently for me to collect my information papers and booklet from Finn; I smiled at him before following him out of the class. I would have to remember to ask Jake about him later. As we walked down the hall to the Common room I could feel his eyes on me as he slowly took in my favourite dress. I wondered if he liked it, when I turned to see his face it looked very much like the thunder clouds in the sky outside. Why he looked like he wanted to kill someone, I had no idea. Unsure what his problem was, I looked at the picture Finn had given me of Ken before mumbling a quick 'goodbye' to Will and going off to search for Ken.  
  
After I was a short distance away from Will, I was able to think clearly again. I wondered what Will thought of me and if he would be interested in going out sometime, but then I stopped that train of thought. He was obviously a complex guy and I always seemed to pick the guy's that were out of my league, or too full-on, and most recently gay. So it made sense to give this guy a miss, oh well maybe we could still be friends. I quickly spotted the guy from Finn's photograph and belatedly realised that the guy I was looking at was not Japanese. I walked over to him, convinced there must be some mistake. "Hi,' I said, 'Are you Ken Sanigi?"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
KEN  
  
'She faded like a cloud which had out-wept it's rain.'  
  
P. B. Shelley.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Yep, that's me, only it's Sangini. I know what you're thinking, I'm not Japanese. Actually I am, Japanese-Australian. I'm also third generation Italian, hence the Italian sounding last name, it always gets spelt wrong." I replied, "My parents are Australian-Italians and we live in Japan, but I was born in Japan. So therefore I am Japanese." It was an explanation that I had used many times but for the first time the words felt strange coming out of my mouth.  
  
I wanted to apologise for wasting this poor girls time and then I wanted to go and steal Yuko away from the good-looking guy who had his hand on her arm. Why did he have his hand on her arm? Did he think she needed holding up? I shook my head as if to clear it and forced myself to stop looking in their direction. I looked at my new tutor; she was pretty but totally not my type. My type ran to the amazing Japanese girl that stood across the hall.  
  
I had to get a grip. I should have known by now that if I want to keep being a part of Yuko's life, that I had to play it cool. It wasn't her fault that I felt like I was dying every time I saw her even just talk to another guy. I loved her, my best friend in the whole word. How could I be so stupid, I thought maybe if we came here together she would finally see me, really see me but now we were here, I wasn't so sure. I thought that if we could just get away from our lives for a minute, maybe she would fall for me but now we'd probably just grow further and further a part. The last few months had been torture, it was like she no longer wanted to be friends, like she no longer needed me and the last few days had been hell. Yuko and I had been fighting non-stop since we arrived at Rawley, and the worst part was I didn't even know why.  
  
Oh, well I have to suck it all up. At least while I'm here I can watch out for her, keep an eye on her kind of like a big brother. I smothered a groan before it could escape, a big brother. Who was I trying to kid; I'd have to be dead first. I realised then that the girl, my tutor - I think she said her name was Lena or Tina, or something - had been talking to me all this time. I have no idea what was said but I must have said the right things because she was smiling at me.  
  
She asked me if I liked old movies and then held out her hand, I took it and followed her outside on to one of the many lawns that surrounded the campus. She was nice I decided, friendly and I made an effort to get to know her. We walked for along time and talked about lots of different things but the whole time I found myself wondering what Yuko and that guy were doing. I wanted to lock myself in a room and never come out; it was going to be a really long year.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Tuesday  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
MORGANA  
  
'How dreary to be somebody.'  
  
Life, Emily Dickenson.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I woke on Tuesday to the sound of laughter coming from outside my door. Wishing whoever it was ill luck, I snuggled down under my blankets and waited for sleep to capture me under it's spell again. When I awoke again about an hour later the laughter could still be heard from the other side of my door only now it was accompanied by a quiet whispering. Curious I found myself tip-toeing over to the door, I pressed my ear to the door but I couldn't make out any real words.  
  
I felt extremely silly and decided to open the door and introduce myself to whomever was standing on the other side. When I opened my door I saw the culprits jump away from each other. I thought they had been kissing but they had moved a part so quickly that I couldn't be sure. It was just the two of them in the hall; I figured everyone else must have still been in bed sleeping. Lucky people.   
  
Both of them were dark haired and dressed in masculine attire. I thought it was a little strange, since one of them was obviously a girl but then I figured 'hey' who was I to judge. It was a cool idea really, I figured that her boyfriend must go here and so instead of being separated by a body of water (the lake), she decides to enrol at Rawley Academy for boys. I couldn't wait to get all the details, it was a cool idea, and I wished that I had thought of it.   
  
I cleared my throat, getting their attention and held out my hand, "Hey, I'm Morgana. I mean Morgan Finn." I said introducing myself to the cute couple. I hoped that we could be friends.  
  
"Finn as in English teacher Finn?" Asked the girl with the short spiky brown hair, she looked surprised to see me dressed in my PJ's talking to her. Not at all surprising since this was the boy's dorm.  
  
"Yeah, he's my dad." I replied.  
  
The girl looked at the guy standing next to her, like she was hoping he would say something but when he kept silent she said, "Well, umm cool. I'm Jake Pratt and this is Hamilton Fleming." Jake pointed to Hamilton. The guy looked like he had just come out of a trance.  
  
"Hi, Bye. Gotta go!' Hamilton said to me before turning to Jake 'I'll see you at Friendly's later?" he asked her. He must have suspected I was about to question his earlier behaviour with Jake.  
  
I watched him turn and practically run down the hall, when he was gone from sight I turned and said to Jake, "So, he's like your boyfriend? The Dean's son, he's cute."  
  
"Ummm...." Jake hedged. She looked kind of shocked by my question; I guess she thought that I thought she was gay. Time to let her know that I knew the truth.  
  
"So, does my Dad realise he has a girl on his beloved crew team? What's Jake short for anyway? Jacqueline? Jacinda?" I motioned for her to come into my room, it was cold in the hall, and I wanted to be comfortable while Jake explained the reason behind her cross-dressing to me.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
JAKE  
  
'The seldom female in a world of males.'  
  
The Kitten's Eclogue IV, Ruth Pitter.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"It's short for Jacqueline but that's kind of a secret." I said hoping she would keep my secret. As I waited for her to respond to my confession, I noticed how pretty she was. I also noticed how alike to Finn she was. She sat on the bed and waited for me to do the same. I obliged her and I sat down curious to know she was going to do with the information she had just acquired. "So...what's the deal are you like psychic or something?" I asked for lack of anything else to say.  
  
"No, it was obvious to me. Come on, you're a beautiful girl. It was kind of hard not to notice, it's just that guys are dumb. They can never see what is right in front of them; I guess that goes for my Dad too. So, what's the story? Don't worry I'm not a narc or anything!" She said laying back on the bed. She patted the spot next to her indicating that I should join her. Why not I thought? I lay down and thought about what she had just said. After thinking for a minute her words register and I had to try not to laugh, after all Hamilton had said pretty much the same thing to me when I first started at Rawley, only he had been referring to my bike. I wondered if I could trust her to keep her word, she seemed pretty nice a little blunt maybe, but nice. Also it would be so cool having another girl I could hang out with who actually new my true sex.  
  
Besides she knew now anyway so I might as well tell her the whole story. It took me a little over an hour to tell her everything including how Hamilton and I got together and about what had happened with us and everyone last session and during the summer. Morgan didn't say anything for a couple of minute and then she burst out laughing. "What?" I asked her, wondering what had amused he so much about my terrific but traumatic summer.  
  
"You...you,' She stuttered. 'You really do have balls! I mean what guts, what cunning I would have gotten caught ages ago."   
  
A beep sounded out throughout the room, Morgan sat up and swore. She jumped off the bed and walked over to her desk. "What's the problem?" I asked jumping up to follow her. I watched as she flipped open a laptop computer. She sat at the desk and pushed the enter button on the laptop's keyboard several times before swearing again. I continued to watch her as she hung her head and began to shake it slowly from side to side.  
  
"I just got the bloody thing fixed." Morgan said finally answering my question.  
  
"What did you get fixed?" I asked needing a little more information before working out if I could help her or not.  
  
"My computer, the Email keeps getting locked up and when it does I can not retrieve my Emails or send new ones. It happens at least once a month but I only just got it fixed before I came here." Morgan answered as she got up from her desk and stomped around the room.  
  
"That shouldn't happen you know. Maybe I could take a look, I might be able to fix it for good." I hoped I wasn't giving her a false hope but it sounded like an easy problem to fix. Obviously her C drive had a bug in it, all I had to do was go in through the back door so to speak and kill the bug.  
  
"You can do stuff like that? How?" Morgan stopped pacing and sat on the bed. She was smiling now, "Are you like a hacker or something?" She inquired, her whole face shiny with excitement.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." I answered, feeling a bit naked. After all this girl now knew pretty much all of my secrets and I knew almost nothing about her.   
  
It took me about twenty minutes to fix the problem and I couldn't believe that none of the computer people, that Morgan had take a look at her computer hadden't found it. I was getting ready to shut down her computer when Morgan finally spoke again. "While your here, do you think that you could possible hack into the Dean's database? I met someone yesterday and I want to find out who he is, before I see him again." She asked, not at all embarrassed by the fact that she had just asked me to break the law.   
  
"I mean you've done it before right? When you enrolled?" She continued, before coming to stand next to me at the desk.  
  
"Yeah, but I'll have to go and get the access codes from my room. Also we'll have to be quick with our search, it's still early and you know it's a guy you want to find out about but it's still going to take a while to find him. Do you know his name?" I asked, as I walked to her door.  
  
"No, but all the student files have pictures don't they? I'll know him when I see him." She replied, as she followed me to my room.  
  
I burst out laughing when we were safely in my room, as I noticed that Morgan was still wearing her PJ's. Morgan laughed too as she looked down at her fluffy pink slippers and bright green PJ's with frogs on them. I grabbed the disc with the access codes from the Dean's database and we headed back to Morgan's room.  
  
After about four minutes we were looking through the student records for Rawley Academy for Boys. "Look, there's you!" Morgan said as my picture popped up onto the screen. It seemed like forever to me since the day that I first enrolled here at Rawley Academy but in reality it was only a few months. Memories flowed past my eyes of the summer just gone, while pictures of Rawley boys flashed in front of Morgan's.  
  
I was so into my recollection of the past few months that I didn't notice when Morgan stopped flipping through the student files and actually began to read one, until she leaned over to me and said, "I've found him, what now?" Still not looking at the screen, I reached in to my pocket and pulled out a new disc to copy the file onto.  
  
"First, we'll copy the file and then when you've read it, you can delete it." I replied as I put in the disc and typed in the proper command. Then I looked at the screen. I was so shocked that I actually rubbed my eyes convinced that there had to be some sort of mistake.  
  
"But...that's Ryder Forrest." I stammered, trying to get a grip. Morgan seemed happy by the news that I knew who Ryder was.  
  
"You know him, well that's great. Tell me all about him." She begged.  
  
"He's a monster, a complete bastard!" I said, as I got out of the Dean's database. I was eager to convince my new friend of the danger she was facing if she attempted to get to know Ryder better.  
  
"I know, but it's all just an act. I think I glimpsed the real Ryder and that's the guy I want to get to know." Morgan said, looking excited at the prospect of delving into Ryder's world of madness and mayhem.  
  
"But..but why?" I asked unable to understand her urge to get to know the one guy at Rawley, that every one tried to avoid. Was she a masochist?  
  
Morgan smiled at me before switching off her computer. "Why because we're kindred spirit's offcourse." She stated with out any reluctance. I left soon after that, completely dazed and confused, and I wondered briefly if my new friend was completely insane or just blind.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
HAMILTON  
  
'See a penny pick it up and all day you'll have good luck.'  
  
Anon.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I felt guilty about leaving Jake to handle Morgan alone but I'm still not totally okay with everyone thinking we're gay. Not that I have anything against homosexuals, I think they are really brave. The thing is I'm not a homosexual and sometimes it just feels wrong lying to everyone. Not that I would ever change a thing about last summer or my relationship with Jake, I love her and that's the real problem. I want everyone to know this fantastic girl belongs to me; I want then to know that she loves me as much as I love her. I long to kiss her and hold her hand, without people like Ryder giving us a hard time.  
  
I spent the rest of the day hoping to catch a glimpse of my beautiful girlfriend but unfortunately Tuesday is the one day I have no classes with her, hence the early morning make-out session. After classes I hurried into town and when I reached Friendly's, I was relieved to see her sitting their waiting for me. I stood outside for a minute and watched as Jake leaned over the counter to hit Will playfully on the arm, she was smiling as she did so and the smile appeared to light up her entire face.  
  
As I entered her smile was directed at me, I felt so full of a sensation that I cannot even describe; yet it was so amazing I know that I will never forget it. It will become another of the hundreds of memories that Jake and I have chalked up together so far. "Hey Will,' I said, as I took my place next to Jake at the counter. I turned to look at her, 'Hey beautiful."   
  
"Hey Ham, I was just telling Jake here all about my day and an interesting discovery that I made." Will's voice broke my concentration on Jake's features. I figured he wanted me to ask him about his discovery, so I did. I was content to listen to Will all night long, as long Jake was seated next to me.  
  
"Well, I met a girl. I knew I'd seen her before but it took a little while for it to come to me then I realised that she was Jake's girlfriend from summer session. You know the girl who kissed Jake thinking she was a guy." Will was trying really hard not to laugh as he leaned over to wipe the counter.  
  
"You mean Lena?" I asked, trying to decide if Will's voice had actually changed when he talked about her. "What were you doing talking to her?"  
  
"She wasn't my girlfriend." Said Jake looking a little embarrassed. At least now I knew why she had been hitting Will, when I arrived earlier.  
  
"You know I'm just teasing Jake.' Will said, before turning to me 'Yeah Lena, the redhead. Finn's picked the two of us to be the official tutors for the two Japanese exchange students. She seems really nice, interesting..."  
  
"Who the Japanese student?" asked Jake, with a smile.  
  
"What?...Oh Yeah, she's nice too. Her name is Yuko but I was talking about Lena. What's she like? You both know her right?" Will replied, and then asked some questions of his own.  
  
"Will, Lena's in our English class or haven't you noticed her before?" Jake answered, before I could open my mouth. Jake was looking at Will and she had this look on her face, a secret smile that said 'I know something you don't know'.  
  
"He's noticed her,' I said, on Will' behalf. 'He just hasn't noticed her." I knew that I now wore a smile very similar to Jake's. Will had a thing for Lena, I wonder how long it will take him to realise that he was a goner. We spent the next twenty or so minutes informing Will all about Lena. It didn't take long because we really didn't know that much about her, besides the fact that she was from L.A, and that she was an artist who liked watching old movies.  
  
"I will say on thing though, without Lena, Jake and I probably wouldn't be together today." I said trying to explain how even though Jake and I didn't really known Lena that well, we still valued her friendship.  
  
"What do you mean?" Will asked looking very interested.  
  
"Well, when I still thought Jake was a guy in was Lena who told me to 'Throw caution to the wind, bit the bullet, seize the day', no matter what. It's funny, Lena knew we were in love before we did." I answered, folding Jake's hand into mine as we both remembered the night of the cotillion.  
  
Jake and I left not long after that and as we walked back towards the dorms, Jake wrapped her arms around my waist and said "You do realise he's in love with her don't you? Or at the very least his interested But we're defiantly going to have to help them get together." I watched as the moonlight streaked Jake's short hair with silver and light. I knew at that moment that she would always be beautiful to me, this was a perfect moment, a perfect memory and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, she leaned over and kissed me. A deep drugging kiss, that made blood roar through me ears. I wondered, no I hoped that we would always be like this, together - kindred spirits.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Wednesday  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
RYDER  
  
'Misspent youth - faking up a rampage  
  
To hold off the real slaves  
  
Paid off and Staid  
  
And what you never knew  
  
Can never get to you  
  
So fake it'  
  
Stumbleine, The Smashing Pumpkins.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Another beautiful sunny day in America, I thought with scorn as walked through the halls of Rawley Academy for Boys. I spotted Jake and Hamilton ahead of me, "Morning Ladies" I said as I passed them. I did a double take, when I saw who they were standing with; it was the babe with the tattoo. What was she doing hanging out with those losers?  
  
I brought myself around, so that I was heading once again in their direction. When I was level with them I spoke my latest thought aloud. "So Beautiful, why are you hanging around with these losers? I'm sure you'd much rather be hanging out with someone like me."  
  
"As tempting as that sounds,' replied the babe, 'I think I'll pass but maybe we could get together later and you can try to impress me with your cruelty to others then!" She turned her attention away from me then and continued her conversation with Jake and the Dean's Daughter Hamilton.  
  
"I think I will come with you to that little Diner after all." She said to Jake, and the three of them turned and left me standing in the hall by myself.  
  
I didn't get it; most of the girls here at this stupid school would have given any thing to have me ask them out. Obviously people had been telling her about my limitless charm. For some reason it bothered me to think that she might have negative thoughts about me and my past behaviour to my fellow peers.   
  
As much as I tried to shake off the feeling of dread that filled me every time I thought about her comment about my behaviour, I couldn't. It made me feel unbelievably insecure, a place I hadn't visited since I was a small boy and it was a place I didn't want to be in ever again. As hot as this chick was, I decided then that it would be a good idea to forget all about her.  
  
My hands started to shake as memories from my childhood began to seep out of the vault in mind, in which I had locked them up in, a long time ago. Some were good but most were bad and I had no desire to relive any of them. When I finally got a hold of myself, I found myself heading in the direction of the library. Oh, well I guess I better do the assignment for Finn's English class, after all for once in my life I found myself without something better to do.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
BELLA  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
When I arrived at Friendly's everyone else was already there, including four people that I had never met before. After a few quick introductions I learned that these four people were Lena, a friend of Jake and Hamilton's, Yuko and Ken, the two exchange students from Japan, and Morgan, Finn's daughter.  
  
We spent what was left of the afternoon all becoming better aquatinted with the four new people, who were fast becoming a part of our once small group. I was beginning to feel more and more of an outcast. All of these young people were a part of something that I would never understand, never experience and never be a part of. It was a pretty lonely place to be and I could only hope that once I told Scout the truth about him not being my brother, that things would get a little bit better. I could only hope that things might go back to normal.  
  
I waited until everyone else had gone before I walked over to sit next to Scout, I wanted us to be alone when I told him the truth about us. He looked surprised to see me sitting next to him and something else, something I couldn't identify at the time. I memorised his expression hoping to be able to analyse it more thoroughly in the privacy of my bedroom later on. "Your not my brother!" I just blurted it out. No 'How are you?', just pure honesty.  
  
I waited for what seemed like an eternity, for Scout to say something, for him to show some sign that he had heard what I had just told him. When it came it wasn't what I had expected. "Do you still love me?" Scout asked, his eyes searching mine.  
  
"Yes,' I said, 'I think I will forever and always." I waited for Scout to react, the whole time hopping that I said the right thing. It was a possibility that he didn't feel the same.  
  
His whole face seemed to be swallowed up by the grin that he flashed in my direction. He jumped to his feet and grabbed me in a hug that was destined to squeeze the life out of me if he didn't let go soon. When Scout realised what he was doing he loosened his hold on me and began to swing around in circles with me still firmly clasped in his arms. It felt so good to be in his arms again, it felt like it was only yesterday that we lay on the bank of the lake sharing our most intimate secrets and dreams, our arms wrapped around each other as he bestowed a kiss on my lips.  
  
Memories and the feelings that accompanied them flowed in every direction making this moment more special than any thing I could have hoped for. I looked at my watch and I realised that it was time for me to go. My dance classes started back today. I realised then that out of all my new friends, the only person who knew about my love of Ballet was Scout. The only other person who knew was Will and he only knew because I had been going since I was five and he had known me longer than that.  
  
I didn't want leave Scout so soon but this year was really important for me and if I wanted to get a scholarship to the School of American Ballet, that meant I had to be at every class. Also Madam O'Durand would kill me if I didn't show up and I couldn't let her down not after all the time she had spent helping me to become a better dancer. "I have to go Scout, I'm sorry but I've got Ballet class in an hour and if I want to make it in time I need to leave now." I finally confessed, realising that I didn't have much time left.  
  
"Do you want me to come? I'd love to watch." Scout asked me as we walked to my truck. I smiled at him, he was so cute so totally different to any guy I had ever known and I loved him so much.  
  
"Yes, I'd love that." I gave him my keys and I got into the passenger seat and waited for him to start the truck.  
  
As we drove towards Carson, I thought all about the Summer just gone, and about all the memories we had made. I realised that I couldn't wait to make new ones, with Scout and with the rest of our friends.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
SCOUT  
  
'I'll be back.'  
  
Arnold Schwarzenegger  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I really should have been watching the road but I had to keep looking over at Bella to make sure that every thing I believed to have happened in the last hour had actually occurred. I had spent the last week walking around in a daze hoping for some sign that Bella and I would get back together and know here we were together speeding towards her dance school.   
  
When Bella first told me about the dance school in Carson, I was surprised that such a predigest school should reside in such a small town in the middle of no where but then again one only had to look at the location of Rawley to see that location didn't really have any affect on the popularity or reputation of a school. I knew how important and how private Bella was about her dancing, so I felt very special that she was allowing me to come and watch her.  
  
I realised that even though we both still cared about each other, that it would be a while before things were completely back to normal, if ever. Spending a whole Summer watching each other date other people, while we believed ourselves to be brother and sister put a great strain on our love. A strain that I can only hope will not leave a scar, making it difficult for us to put the past in the past.  
  
When we arrived at Carson School of Ballet, Bella rushed inside leaving me to lock up the truck before following her inside. When I entered the room, where Bella had her classes, I was just in time to grab a seat before the lesson began. Hoping that I wouldn't fall asleep or distract the class, I was surprised to find myself intensely entertained by the sight of Bella dancing across the room on point.  
  
There was so much that we didn't know about each other and I hoped that we could spend the rest of time, finding out what we were both made up of. On the way back to Rawley I felt a contentment that I hadn't felt in a very long time and as I drove, with one arm around a sleeping Bella, I let my thoughts stray.   
  
I had been a mess the last couple of weeks but in the last few days I had noticed that something was wrong with Will. He had been such a good friend to both Bella and myself that I knew it was time for me to be there for him. I would talk to him as soon as I got back to school, well first I would tell him about Bella and myself, getting back together and then I would ask him what was wrong. It was probably just something with his Dad.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Thursday  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
JAKE  
  
'I don't play well with others.'  
  
Jonny Lee Miller as Dade Murphy, in Hackers.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
It was a nice day and the sun was shining, so Finn had once again decided to hold his English class outside on the lawns. I was sitting with Hamilton, Scout, Morgan, Yuko and Will, so when I saw Lena and Ken walking towards us I waved them over. "Sit with us." I said. Finn waited for the rest of the stragglers to sit down before beginning the class. Scout had just finished filling us in on the good news about him and Bella. I already knew because Bella had rung me early this morning before classes had started but I let Scout have his moment.   
  
I really wanted to hold hands with Hamilton but I noticed that Ryder was watching our group closely. Then I realised that it was not so much our group he was watching but Morgan. I then noticed that Morgan too was watching him, in between watching Finn and talking to Hamilton.  
  
"Well I hope you have all completed your assignments. I think we will start with you Mr Pratt." Finn said his eye's directed at me. I had several quotes prepared just like we were asked to gather for the assignment but I was unsure if they would give away my true gender. I told the class my three favourite, the first being by Ruth Pitter. "My favourite of the three quote that I have chosen is, 'The seldom female in a world of males.' I like it because it's so true, we live in a world completely run by males, even in today's society but every now and then there is a female that stands out, like Joan of Arc, or Mother Theresa."  
  
I could see my friends smiling at me, I knew what they were thinking, I was a seldom female in a world full of males. I waited for Finn to make a comment on my choice of quote but he remained quiet only indicating that I should continue. My other two quotes were from a movie called Hackers.   
  
"My last quote is said by Jonny Lee Miller in the movie Hackers. 'Unbelievable, a hacker.' is what is said. I picked this quote because I liked the movie and because in a way I am also a hacker. I hunger for information and the reason that this quote is even mentioned in the movie is because Jonny's character is so surprised by meeting another hacker, it's an unknown occurrence, because hackers are so rare."  
  
Finn said nothing letting the class take over the discussion. It seemed everyone had something to say and everyone wanted to listen for once. After me it was Will's turn. He had three very deep quotes, but my favourite was by Lord Byron. It was, 'Agree to a short armistice with truth.'   
  
Finn went around the classroom until he came to Hamilton. Finn was less than impressed with Hamilton's first two quotes and said so, asking for something a little more profound. Which Hamilton delivered to Finn's surprise, "After we read Robert Browning, during the Summer session I became interested in reading some more of his works. So during the break, while I was in New York I bought a book of his poetry from a second hand book shop and this is what sticks in my mind as being a profound statement, 'Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what is heaven for?'."  
  
The rest of the lesson was extremely enjoyable for it was interesting to see what everyone else, including my friends deemed to be worthy of discussion.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
FINN  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
'We are all born mad. Some remain so.'  
  
Samuel Beckett. - Ryder  
  
'Be warned in time, James, and remain,  
  
as I do, incomprehensible; to be great is to be misunderstood.'  
  
Oscar Wilde. - Ken  
  
'Truth is rarely pure, and never simple.'  
  
Oscar Wilde. - Scout  
  
'Come up and see me some time.'  
  
Mae West. - Lena  
  
'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.'  
  
William Shakespeare. - Morgana  
  
I was astonished by the level of understanding and interpretation that my class had of their chosen quotes. "Since the majority of you have quoted songs or poems, lets try a little some thing different for our next assignment. I want every one to compose a poem or lyrics to a song about love."  
  
"Do they have to be happy, soppy love songs?" Will asked.  
  
"No, love scorned is fine as well." I replied, I couldn't wait to see what they would come up with.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Will's voice over:- Memories are there so that we can remember the good times and learn from the bad times. Is it possible that we can learn for other people and their mistakes? Are we destined to follow the same pattern forever, never realising our own mistakes until it is too late? Or do we learn the secret of life moments before it all ends? No one really knows, but one thing is for sure without memories we live our lives with no purpose. We cannot strive for greatness if we do not know what it looks like and unless we have seen it in the past and can recognise it in the future, it stands to reason that all would be lost to us. So, is it through our memories that we learn to value the important things in life, or is it the important memories that make us value life? I guess the most important question is what is important to you? What do you value?  
  
*********************************************************************** 


	3. Comming Home

Title: Episode Guide - The Fall Session   
  
Rating: PG-13, but it will have a bit of sex in this Part.  
  
Category: Every one, but mostly Jake and Hamilton. Plus Ryder and Morgana. This fanfic is mostly centred around Lena and Will. I'm mostly a Jake and Hamilton fan but something about the idea of Will with Lena really gets me!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, except for Mr Fujiwara, Morgana, Yuka Higashi, Ken Sanigi and Madam O'Durand but I wish I did. *Note: All song lyrics in this Fanfic belong to me! And if you steal them then you're a thief. If you don't like them, well hey I'm only human:), we can't be great at every thing.*  
  
The Fall Session  
  
*Part Three - Coming Home*  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Friday  
  
Will's voice over:- Home, what is that? A place where we live, eat, sleep and dream? Or is it a place where we learn not to dream? Is home a place where childhood is shed and illusions lost? Someone once said 'Home is where the heart is', so where is my heart? Where is my home and how do I find it?  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
FINN  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
The rain that had kept my classes inside for the last two weeks looked like it had no intention of withdrawing. The clouds outside looked gray and heavy with their load. My mind itched to write, but what about I had no idea.  
  
Morgana and I had been slowly getting to know one another over the past couple of weeks, but I still felt like one of us was holding back, maybe both of us were. I looked up to where she was sitting in the back row. She was seated in between Jake and Will, which made me feel slightly better about having her here at Rawley, at least she was hanging out with a good crowd. Today she was dressed in a short black skirt and a tiny red T-shirt; it was like she had no idea that it was raining outside.  
  
Every time she moved in her chair her shirt lifted up showing off her tattoo, which only incensed my anger towards both her and myself. It was difficult trying to get to know my only daughter after twelve years of being strangers. Morgan seemed to blame me for the separation, like she was unconscious of her mother's efforts in keeping me away from her. For all intents and purposes I think she hates me but then why is she here? And there in lay a mystery worth looking into.  
  
I cleared my voice, eager to end the last class of the day. "I hope you all enjoy your weekend, be sure to complete your assignment by Monday." I said as my class slowly ambled out of the room, on a day like to day no one was really in a hurry to get anywhere.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
LENA  
  
Time and time I see her pretty face, she's gone to hell and back,  
  
She's lost her place, Fighting with a devil deep inside.  
  
Teasing, taunting, taking all her pride.  
  
And she cry's like never before, And she lies like never before,  
  
And her eye's they've see it all before, he's not here, and it's not clear.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
After Finns class I decided to go to my room and grab my sketchpad, this Fall weather we were having was a perfect scene for my art major. I couldn't wait to get outside. In my hurry to escape I ran into somebody. I looked up it was Will Krudski, boy of my dreams, not really sure what to say I didn't say anything. Standing there like a complete idiot, I waited until he spoke. "Hey Lena, where's the fire?" He asked with a grin that turned my insides to jelly.  
  
"I...No fire, I just wanted some fresh air." I replied with as much dignity as I could dredge up.  
  
"Me too, do you mind if we walk together?" Will requested, as he took a hold of my hand.  
  
"Ummm....Sure, you can help me with my art major." I said as we headed outside towards the lawns near the lake, tingles traveling up and down my arm, as I clasped his hand in mine.  
  
"I don't know how to draw." was Will's reply, but I assured him I just needed a model. "A model, but I'm not a model either."  
  
"That's not really was I meant I just need someone to sit for me so I can draw the human form, do you mind?" I asked hoping that he would say yes, I even crossed my toes inside my boots. My fingers had been itching to draw his profile since the day Finn introduced us.  
  
"Uh...I guess not, can we still keep talking?" He asked me, filling me with joy at the prospect of not only finally getting to draw him but also getting to know him better.  
  
"Yeah I'd like that." I said smiling my cutest smile, all the while hopping that I didn't look like some crazy girl on drugs. We found a semi-dry spot of grass under some trees and I began to draw his face. With each feature I learned something new about Will and he in return learned something new about me.   
  
We sat talking for about two hours and when it began to rain again, we both headed for our dorms; unfortunately they were in totally different directions. We agreed to meet the next day at Friendly's in town with Yuko and Ken to do some group work on this week's assignments. As I ran towards my building I had an urge to turn around and watch him as he disappeared from my view, hoping that he might just copy the action and look my way. But he didn't, so when he was no longer in my sights I entered my dorm.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
WILL  
  
Love it can be like everything.  
  
Your pain it fills me, your hate over whelms me.  
  
Love is suicide, it breeds like a parasite.  
  
Love is suicide, it's a one way trip to hell and back.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
When the rain finally drove Lena and I into our dorms, I was surprised at how much I had learned about her in such a short time. She was such a free person, easy to talk to but also easy to listen to, and she had a lot to say. I was happy to find that she wasn't just a pretty face and that we could talk for hours about poetry or being an outsider.  
  
Scout was in our room when I walked in but he was busy talking to his Dad on the phone. He waved as I threw myself on my bed and I grinned in response, I was in a good mood for once no brooding for me, at least not today. Lena had inspired me to feel at peace with myself even if it was only for a short while.  
  
It took me a while to realise that Scout now off the phone was attempting to have a conversation with me. "Sorry,' I said, 'What did you say?"  
  
"I asked where you've been for like the last hour?" Scout replied, spinning around in his desk chair until he was facing my direction.  
  
"Oh, I was with Lena. We were talking." I wondered how much information to give Scout. I trusted him with my secrets but I didn't really want anyone to know that I liked Lena, hell I didn't even want to admit it to myself. Lena was a nice girl and I didn't want to infect he life with the bacteria that threatened to take over mine.  
  
"Lena, the red-head? She's kind of hot. Do you like her?" Scout was sharper than normal today; it must have been something in my tone that gave me a way.  
  
"Yeah the red-head and yes, she is hot. There's no kind of about it. She's also a nice girl, too nice for me. I'd just ruin her life." There I said it. Now it was all out in the open, funny I didn't feel any better. I thought I would have but now I just felt worse.  
  
"What are you talking about? How could you ruin her life? Your a good guy Will." Scout jumped to my defense, literally. He jumped out of his chair and came over to where I was laying. "Oh, your talking about your Dad and this whole issue you have with being on a scholarship." My he was being insightful today, it was extremely annoying.   
  
"Look, you don't understand. Just because your happy this week doesn't mean I have to be. And yeah, my life is pretty screwed up. The only thing I really have going for me is this school and my friends. I know your trying to be helpful but just back off, okay?" Wow, I didn't realise I had that all stored up in me. I noticed that I contradicted myself because I had been happy, at least until I started this conversation.  
  
"Okay, let's talk about something else then." Scout said finally.  
  
"Guess what? You know Ken that Japanese exchange student? He's rooming with Ryder." I said, reaching for something else to talk about but at the same time realising that eventually we were going to end up talking about Lena.  
  
"What? Tough break! I'm going to Bella's for a while, before crew practice. I'll see you later." He said as grabbed his bag of the bed. Just as he reached the door he turned and looked back in my direction I knew he was going to say something about Lena.  
  
"So, where's the girl staying? The Japanese girl, what was her name? Oh, yeah Yuko. Who is Yuko bunking with?" Scout's grin covered his whole face it was like he already knew the answer to his question.  
  
I cleared my throat, "Lena." I answered and then I waited for his response.  
  
"Oh. Well, maybe you will get to see her again today and maybe she can cheer you up." He said before closing the door behind him. I sat up on my bed and wondered why he hadden't said any more, it was very unlike Scout. I lay back down and thought about meeting Lena tomorrow, I found myself eager for the day to end so I could go to bed and wake up, and see her again. I wondered briefly if she felt the same way about me.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
YUKO  
  
I drank of his wine, I ate of his bread  
  
but I would not sleep in his bed.  
  
To lie is to tell the truth, but no one wants to hear it.  
  
Peace of mind is not important, as long as your not left behind.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
It was funny how everything could change in just a few days. After meeting Will I had found out that Ken's tutor, Lena was to be my roommate. At first I wasn't really sure how I felt about her, she is such a pretty girl that I was sure that Ken would instantly fall in love with her. But I couldn't help it, I began to like her, Lena is just such a nice person.  
  
Everything had changed except this friction between Ken and myself, all we seemed to do is fight these days and yet all I want to do is be with him all the time. I have new friends, a new school, new teachers and yet I cannot seem to have a civil conversation with my best friend in the whole world.   
  
It's the weekend and I'm not even sure if I should go and see if he wants to hang out or not. I was just beginning to feel deep depression and a chocolate craving coming on when Lena came bursting through our door dripping water everywhere. "Where have you been?", I asked.  
  
"With Will, he was helping me with my art major. Why did you miss me?" Lena replied with a giggle.  
  
"No, I was just getting ready to eat that block of chocolate over there. Wanna join me?" I inquired, now giggling myself. See what I mean how could anyone not like Lena she just brightens up your day.   
  
Lena grabbed the bar or Fruit 'N' Nut chocolate and came over to sit on my bed, "Sure why not? So where's Ken I thought you two were going to work on your assignments together?" Lena asked as she broke the block of chocolate in half and gave the biggest piece to me.  
  
"No, he wanted to get to know his room mate a little better. I guess I'll just see him later, or something." I said trying to sound as if it didn't bother me that my best friend couldn't stand to be in the same room as me.  
  
"Your in love with him aren't you ?" Lena asked, after popping a piece of chocolate into her mouth.  
  
I was really sure what to say, I could believe she had actually noticed. None of my friends back home had even the slightest idea about my feelings. I didn't know Lena very well, but I wanted so desperately to trust her. I really needed someone to talk to about Ken. "Am I that obvious?", I replied, taking a chance.  
  
"No not really it could just be because I'm an outsider that I noticed what others wouldn't normally see. Don't worry your secret is safe with me." Lena promised. "If it's any consolation I think he feels that same way."  
  
My heart started beating really fast and my head felt faint. Could it be true? Could Ken actually be in love with me too? I didn't want to believe it, get my hopes up, just incase Lena was wrong. "What make you say that? We used to be the best of friends but ever since I told him I was coming here we have not stopped fighting." I said hoping Lena would be terribly insightful and make me understand why Ken would want to be with me.  
  
"Because he can not take his eyes off you. He's in love for sure." Lena popped the last piece of chocolate in her mouth before saying, "But if your going to tell him how you feel, you better do it soon because he keeps getting mobbed by the Rawley girls they all keep asking him out. So far he has turned them all down but sooner or later he's going to say yes to one of them."  
  
Lena was right, but I had to be sure I didn't want to ruin eleven years of friendship. Maybe Ken should go out with someone else, that way I could see how he acts and try to gage his feelings for me that way. I decided to dare him to go out with one of these girls he had always been a sucker for a good dare I was all most one hundred percent sure he would accept my terms. "I'm going to go see him now. I guess I'll see you later." And with that I walked out of the room taking my left over chocolate with me to use as a bribe if needed.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
KEN  
  
Your love tears me limb from limb, I see your face and it begins  
  
Pieces of me lying on the floor, they watch as you walk out the door.  
  
I've been crushed in the rush don't come back here.  
  
Your place is gone, it's been wiped out, the only thing left is a tear  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I watched as another girl walked away from me. I couldn't believe it that was the fourth girl to ask me out on a date today. "Are you gay or something?" a voice behind me remarked. I turned to see my room mate Ryder standing behind me.  
  
"No, I'm just not interested in being the next big thing at Rawley. Besides, I like my girls to have at least known me for twenty-four hours before confessing their love for me and asking me to have children with them." I answered.  
  
"Okay, I see where you're coming from but I still think that you're insane. I'd love to have all those girls pining for me, actually at the moment I would be satisfied with just one specific girls interest." Replied Ryder.  
  
"Me too" I stated before realising what I had done.  
  
"Oh, so it's like that, well why didn't you just say so. Who is she?" Ryder asked, as I stood up.  
  
"You don't know her,' I said as we headed for our room, 'besides she's not interested so it doesn't matter who she is". When we arrived at our room I was shocked to see Yuko waiting for me outside in the hallway. God she looked beautiful, her shiny black hair down to her waist and her amazing blue eyes.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"I came to talk to you, we are still talking aren't we?" Yuko replied.  
  
"Off course, but it's just I haven't really seen you lately. Do you want to go for a walk or something?" I said trying to understand why she was really here.  
  
"Look I'll go leave you too love birds alone in the room, just give me a ring on my mobile when your done." Ryder interrupted, before Yuko could reply and before I could correct him on the assumption of Yuko and myself being lovebirds he was already gone.  
  
"Actually that's why I've come, to talk about love." Yuko said giving me a wink, before pushing past me the enter my room. I thought for a second there that she was going to tell me that she loved me and for a moment things were just like they used to be between us.   
  
"Oh, yeah what about love?" I asked.  
  
"I think you should go out with one of these girls who keep asking you. It's about time we both fell in love, don't you think." Yuko said as she sat on my bed. I wondered what she would think if I told her that I already was in love, with her.  
  
"I don't think so..."  
  
"I dare you!" She interrupted.  
  
"If you go out with one of these girls and it turns out to be a bad idea, I will be your slave for one month and if it works you will have to help me find someone to be with, plus you have to tell every one in Finn's class that you couldn't live with out me!" She sounded so impressed with her plan that I didn't have the heart to tell her that it wouldn't work and before I knew what was happening I had already agreed. After all I kind of liked the idea of having Yuko as my personal slave for one month.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Saturday  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
RYDER  
  
Down by the docks, down by the water.  
  
I see my face becoming distorted, and as I look at myself in the water,  
  
I feel...  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
With a whole weekend of debauchery ahead of me, I should have been happy but all I could think about was how alone I was going to be and how bored I was getting of being the 'Big Bad' at Rawley. It was strange having a roommate after having a single room for so long. Ken and I appeared to be getting along okay but having nothing to compare it to I couldn't honestly say we were friends. I wondered briefly if the cute Asian girl that came to our room yesterday, was the girl he was so cut up over. I guess if we are really becoming friends then he will tell me about her when he's ready.  
  
Now if I could just convince Morgana, that I was worth getting to know...Who am I trying to kid? I'm not even sure I can convince myself that I'm worth getting to know. Whoa! What's with all the negativity? I feel like I'm going insane. Why should I care if the snotty rich kids at Rawley like me or not? I never used to, maybe it was all the time I'd spent watching Will and his friends hang out over the summer but that didn't really explain why I now after spending the whole summer making them hate me I wanted to be their friend. I wanted to be included for the first time in my life, I wanted to belong but most of all I wanted Morgana. Why now? It was a good question, a better question would be: Why at all?   
  
I just did not know why and I was so deep in thought as to why, that I didn't notice Morgana standing out in the hall. I walked straight in to her, it was becoming a habit.  
  
"Watch it! Oh, it's you" Said Morgan, looking me over. "This is becoming a habit, you walking into me. I'm seriously considering getting you a Seeing Eye dog. When is your birthday it would be the perfect gift."  
  
"I...I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going. I can see fine but..."  
  
"You just weren't paying any attention, I get it." Morgan smiled interrupting me and then said, "I wonder what is so interesting that you couldn't even see the object of your desire right in front of you."  
  
I really didn't get this girl but I wanted to. At least she knew I liked her, now if I could just work out her feelings for me. "I was thinking about you love actually." I replied, hoping to gage her reaction.  
  
"Really, how nice.' She said without giving anything away. Morgana looked at her watch and then shook her head slightly as if to clear it, 'I'm going to have to leave on that note. I have to meet someone."  
  
I didn't want her to go. I wanted to know who she was going to meet. Another guy? I just watched as she turned to leave, wanting to stop her but only just maintaining my cool. Morgan was almost to the end of the hall when I decided to have the last word. I ran after her, and just as I reached her she turned around, as if she knew I was there but I couldn't stop myself, and I ran straight into her, again.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
MORGANA  
  
It's the truth that I love you, it's the truth that I care  
  
It's the truth that I want you, it's the truth I need you near.  
  
I'll never lie to you, I'll never make you cry,  
  
And if you break my heart, I still won't say goodbye.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I wrapped both of my arms around Ryder's neck and pulled him towards me, just as my mouth brushed his I said in the smallest whisper, "If you wanted a goodbye kiss all you had to do was ask." My lips brushed over his once, twice, three times before landing comfortably in the most erotic position ever. This kiss had defiantly been worth the wait. He tasted amazing like strawberries, and I wanted to devour him whole.  
  
His hands that had been hanging at his sides in shock were now cupping the curve of my hip so lightly it was torture. I wanted his hands to touch me everywhere, all over. He must have suffered some shock from the boldness of me kissing him because he had just stood there not participating but not resisting either. But not now, now he was in control. One of his hands had left my waist and was roaming it's way through my curls. The other was clutching at my ass, pulling me closer to him.  
  
A gasp escaped my lips as I realised that he was fast becoming aroused by this kiss, I could feel his hardness growing against my stomach. I tried to pull my mouth from his but he wouldn't release me, his lips were hot and hard against mine. Truth be told I didn't really want to stop, so we continued to kiss. He finally broke away from me when his phone rang.  
  
Both of us were breathless, but he managed to answer his phone. When he turned his back on me I bailed, I had to get out of there. I headed outside, towards the lake hoping to find a place where I could be by myself while analysing one of the best experience of my life. What was I doing? I don't even really know Ryder.   
  
There was a guy down by the lake, I recognised him from some of my classes. He seemed nice enough but I really just wanted to be alone, so I tried to sneak by him. I was just behind him when he turned around. He smiled and stepped forward, "Hi, I'm Will. You're Finn's daughter." He said, it wasn't a question but a statement.  
  
"Yeah, the name's Morgana, but my friends call me Morgan. I've seen you in class, my dad really likes you." Although in a hurry to be alone, I was curious about this guy. My dad really did seem to think he was special and the way he looked at Will with pride in his eyes, made me wonder what I was going to have to do to receive the same treatment.  
  
"Thanks, it must be pretty cool having Finn for a dad." Will said, shuffling his feet.  
  
"When I find out I'll let you know." I retorted, immediately feeling bad. It wasn't Will's fault that I was pissed about kissing Ryder and about the fact that I had never really known my father. "I'm sorry, that was rude. Now just isn't really a good time for me to be with people. I should be alone somewhere, preferably a desert island or something similar. My ability to interact within the normal social boundaries just expired about ten minutes ago." With that I turned to go hoping he wouldn't think I was totally insane but really not caring enough to stay and find out.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm exactly the same. My friends think it's just intellectual PMS but really I just feel like shit and don't want to share it with the whole world. Look, I'll see you later all right? Maybe we can get together and discuss what it's like to be us." Will laughed, stopping me from leaving, "But in the mean time if you want privacy the lounge on the fourth floor is always a good place there's nobody ever there."  
  
"Thanks for the tip. Why doesn't anyone use that lounge?" I asked, still facing away from him, ready to make a quick get away.  
  
"Too many steps." At Will's reply I smiled to myself and headed for the fourth floor lounge, steps be damned!  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
HAMILTON  
  
Her eye's they shimmer and they shine.  
  
I love her so much, I can't believe she's mine.  
  
She must be colour blind, to love me so deep inside.  
  
And she must be so resigned to see the best, that she can't see the lies.  
  
Heartbreaker, heartbreaker, why do you hide?  
  
Come out where ever you are I need to recognise, the fear that lives inside my heart.  
  
Heartbreaker, heartbreaker, please don't cry.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"Baby?" I inquired, "Are you a wake?" I rolled over so that we were now facing each other, only to find that Jake was still asleep. God, I love her, love being with her, sleeping with her, waking up with her in my arms. She is so beautiful, her hair slightly longer than it was during the summer session, was more feminine and made her look very pixie-like. Especially during one of the brief times when she was able to wear eyeliner.  
  
Jake slowly stirred, opening up her eyes slowly. "Don't watch me when I sleep. I can always tell, and then I wake up. I need more sleep." I smiled as she covered her head with the doona.  
  
"You've been sleeping for over eight hours. You need to wake up and kiss your boyfriend good morning." I said, laughing, as the doona moved but still no sight of Jake.  
  
"Do you know that you can be extremely annoying in the morning?" She asked me before reaching her hands out of the doona and grabbing my head dragging me under it for the best good morning kiss I had ever received. Coming up for air she smiled at me before stretching, "Do you know that Morgan has a thing for Ryder?' She asked me, covering her mouth with the doona, 'Sorry, morning breath."  
  
"Are you for real? Has she actually met him?" I couldn't believe that such an attractive girl would have any sort of feeling for Ryder except for loathing and annoyance. I knew that he was known as being quite the stud but Morgan seemed like a smart girl to me, maybe she could see something the rest of us couldn't. Nah, it would have to take a miracle or something extremely similar to turn Ryder into a nice guy. "Ryder, would need something pretty drastic to happen to him, to make him ever a half way decent guy worth knowing." I told Jake, getting out of bed and looking under it for my runners.  
  
"I guess, that is what I thought too but he does seem to be kind of taken with her. Maybe, leopards can change their spots". Jake said handing me my runner, which had been under her desk.  
  
"Yeah and Satan cuddles puppies, I'm going for a run. Do you want to come?" I asked, putting my runners on. I watched as Jake shook her head slowly.  
  
"I can't, sorry. I promised Bella, that I would go into town and do girlie stuff with her today. If is helps at all, I will miss you while I'm gone."  
  
I smiled, reached over and kissed her. Then I left, yeah it helped. It helped a lot but I would probably end up missing her a whole lot more than she would miss me.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
JAKE  
  
Lover, come to me, hold me close, don't let me go (tonight).  
  
Love me, stay with me, all through the night till morning (sunrise).  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Although I really did mean it, when I told Ham that I would miss him today. I was also really looking forward to some time just hanging out with Bella. Time just being a girl. However, I must have rolled over and gone back to sleep after Hamilton left because the next thing I know, I'm hearing bells ringing in my ear. It took me about two minutes to work out that it was actually my phone and not some alien life form, trying to do sort of strange experiment to me while I slept.  
  
"Hello." I said, glaring at the alarm clock as I picked up the phone.  
  
"Where are you? I thought you were coming over today. Don't try to bail on me. Get your butt over here now, or else." I heard Bella yell down the line.  
  
"I'm on my way, I just kind of slept in. Hamilton, must have turned off the alarm but I'm still coming." I must have said something that pleased her because she said 'okay' and hung up on me.  
  
I jumped out of bed and grabbed the first thing that I saw. It didn't really matter what I wore now, because I was just going to change when I got to Bella's house any way. I had already packed my bag for today's little excursion the night before and I had plenty of dresses and skirts stashed inside it.  
  
I took my bike to town, so I was at Bella's house about five minutes after she rang me. "Hi, Jacqueline Pratt reporting for duty, Sir." I said when she opened the door to let me in.  
  
"Funny, very funny. I'm sorry, did I really sound that bad on the phone? It's just that I was really looking forward to catching up with you. We haven't really had a chance since you got back." Bella replied as I followed her up stairs to her bedroom.  
  
"Me too." I responded, as I entered her bedroom and sat on her bed. "So, what are we going to do first?" I asked, watching her close the door before coming to sit on the floor next to me.  
  
"I thought we could watch a video. Did you want to get changed first?" She said.  
  
"Actually, guys clothes are a lot more comfy than ours, so for the moment I think, I'll just stay as I am for now. What's the video?" I wondered aloud.  
  
"Shakespeare In Love. I thought it would be fun, maybe you could pick up a few tricks from Gweneth." Bella replied, putting the tape in and getting comfy.  
  
"Maybe..." I started to say but the movie had already started.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
BELLA  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
It was so great hanging out with Jake again. I had really missed her these last few weeks. I never seen 'Shakespeare In Love' before, it was pretty cool but I was having trouble concentrating on the story line, because all I wanted to do was talk about what was going on with Scout and myself. I really needed someone to talk to.  
  
"Okay. What's up? What's going on?" Jake said suddenly as she leaned forward to turn off the TV.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked.  
  
"No running commentary, no questions about the movie. It's just not normal for you to be so quiet. So spit it out." Jake replied, getting more comfy on my bed.  
  
So I told her everything, that Scout and I were back together again and that it was different now, strange and I didn't know how to fix it. That I needed to know how to make it the way it was before, the way it was last summer.  
  
We ended up spending most of the day just talking. Jake told me that Scout and I just needed time to acclimatise ourselves to each other. We talked about almost everything known to man but at the end of the day I still felt a little out of it. I don't know why but ever since the beginning of school I have felt like someone standing on the outside, an outcast. All of my friends spend everyday together, they get to go to the same classes and I only get to see them when they come in to town or when they have a spare minute. They have all made new friends and they have insider jokes, jokes that I used to be a part of. I just feel like they don't need me any more and so I told Jake how I felt.  
  
"What? You're kidding right?" She asked disbelief written all over Jake's face. "I will always need you. Besides Ham, you're my best friend and I love you. We all love you. You are a special part of our group, you are our group, and you helped to bring us all together. Without you there would be no group. If you really feel left out, if you really feel shut out because we all go to Rawley, then enroll." Jake said reaching out to take both of my hands in hers.  
  
"Look, Thanks for saying all that it's really sweet but as for enrolling, you know I can't afford that and before you say anything. No, I won't let you pay for me. I really just don't see a solution to this, I just really don't!" I replied, pulling away.  
  
"Well what about applying for a scholarship of some kind. It would be so excellent to have you at Rawley with us. Just like one big family. Also you love living in town, so if you don't board then the fees are a lot more reasonable but it would be heaps of fun if you could live with us. I'll help you, we'll work it out, I promise. Let me talk to Hamilton about it and he can grill his dad for details. We will fix this." Jake said standing up, "I don't want to leave you but I have to go. Are you going to be all right?"  
  
"Yes, Scout is coming over to do laundry and keep Grace and myself company while Dad's gone. So go I'll be fine." I replied.  
  
I walked her to the door where we said goodbye. I was lucky to have such a good friend. I was getting something ready for dinner, when Dad called to let me know that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow. I told him not to worry. I knew Scout would protect Grace and I from the Boogieman. "Ask him to stay the night, on the couch." Dad said before hanging up. I dialed Scout and Will's room.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
WILL  
  
Fear, it's inevitable and loss irreplaceable.  
  
Your love it kills me, Your hate revives me.  
  
You are the one at fault, the leader, the breeder.  
  
The cult of love is suicide.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I asked and she said 'Yes'. I couldn't believe it; I was finally starting to feel like I fit in here at Rawley. I had some great friends and now it looked like I had a date with the girl of my dreams. A date with my destiny.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
When I saw Lena sitting under a tree drawing, I couldn't help myself, I just had to stop and watch her for a minute. Just a minute, I told myself. I was already late for crew practice but one minute turned into two and two into ten. Morgan, Finns daughter almost blew my cover but she just wanted to be alone too. Before I knew it Lena was packing up her stuff, as she stood she must have seen me because she started heading in my direction.  
  
"Hey, stalking is illegal you know!" Lena said as she reached my hiding spot.  
  
"Well, I guess if I'm your stalker I should probably try to get you to go out on a date with me. Then again, you could just go out on a date with someone else and I could just follow the two of you around. It might be fun!" I replied, taking the time to really check her out. She was so pretty, her hair was an amazing colour and her body was to die for.  
  
"Yes" Lena said.  
  
"Yes, what?" I asked, puzzled by her answer.  
  
"Yes, let's go out on a date. I mean, if you want to?" Lena said, her cheeks now matched her hair in colour.  
  
"Really, you want to go out. I'd like that a lot. I can give you Will's New Rawley tour. It takes about two hours, maybe we could get something to eat afterwards." I said, wanting to stop my mouth from speaking but unable to find a way how.  
  
"That's sounds great, so it's a date then?" She asked smiling up at me.  
  
"Yes" I stammered in reply.  
  
We agreed to meet at the fountain in town at four o'clock but then our conversation was cut short by my mother. She was there for a meeting with the Dean, about my scholarship. I introduced them both and then they began to gang up on me...  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
It had started to rain and the sky was dark, it was the kind of weather that inspired writers to write but I had nothing to say. I knew I shouldn't have gone home, I really didn't have time, if I wanted to meet Lena in time for our date but I really needed to get some books and other stuff that I had left behind at the house. I knew I had to go, so I'd waited until I thought Dad would be gone, only when I got there he was still at home. At first he was great, he actually seemed happy to see me...  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"So how have you been son?" he asked from his spot on the couch. I was surprised that he was interested; usually he ignored me unless he was laying into me.  
  
"I'm good," I said not really knowing what he wanted from me.  
  
"That's all you have to say to your old man? We haven't seen you for a couple of months now, and that is all you have to say?', Too late I noticed his slurred speech and the dozens of empty beer bottles surrounding the couch. 'You're an ungrateful son of a bitch!"  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
I don't really remember much more than that, all I know is that he came up off the couch swinging. I tried to defend myself but I didn't want to hurt or kill him accidentally in all of my own rage, so I didn't really know how to stop him. Now I'm late meeting Lena for our first real date and I'm bleeding all over my favourite T-shirt. I guess it's just as well I knew, from the beginning that I wasn't good enough for her. If this doesn't prove it, I don't know what else could. Just the sight of me seems to enrage my own father, what could I possibly bring to a relationship except trouble and heartache.  
  
I grabbed my stuff and I got out of there as quick as I could. I headed straight back to the dorms, my head down I moved quickly, in an attempt to avoid notice. I didn't want anyone knowing about what my father had done to me.   
  
When I reached the room, I looked into the mirror or at least I tried to but my left eye was swollen shut. Shit, there was a lot of blood and I didn't know what to do. I started to get dizzy, so I lay down on my bed, hoping that it would stop the crazy room spinning.  
  
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew someone was banging loudly on the door. It was Lena, at first I just tried to ignore it, pretend not to be there but she must have heard me, because she started making even more noise. I didn't want her drawing the attention of the teaching staff, so I told her to 'go away' but she wouldn't listen. In the end it was just easier to let her come in. I hated to do it but it was the lesser of two evils. I just really didn't want to see pity for me on her beautiful face.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
LENA  
  
Time and time I ask her to change, She's gone to hell and back again,  
  
She's found her place, Lying to the person deep inside.  
  
Stabbing, Sucking, stealing all her pride.  
  
And she fly's like never before, And she sighs like never before,  
  
And her eye's they show it all, It's not clear, it's not clear at all.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I was walking down the main street of New Rawley when I saw Will's mother heading in my direction, she seemed almost frantic. I wondered what was wrong; maybe she would be able to tell me where Will was. I had been looking for him for over an hour now and I still he no idea where he was and why he never met me at the fountain in the center of town for my tour. I was beginning to get worried. "Mrs. Krudski, how are you?' I asked as she reached me, 'Have you see Will today?"  
  
"Lena, hello dear. No I haven't seen Will, he came home earlier but I wasn't there and he had a fight with his Dad. I'm really worried about him, worried he might be hurt..." Mrs. Krudski replied kind of letting her voice fade at the end.  
  
"Hurt?" I asked, "What do you mean, how?"  
  
"I'm sorry Lena I can't talk about this now I just need to find Will." She said in return.  
  
"Okay, I'll help."  
  
"Please have him ring me if you find him before me." She looked older than yesterday, as she finished talking she turned and fled in the opposite direction.  
  
I found Scout on his way to Bella's garage, not far from Rawley Academy and I asked him if he had seen Will in the last hour or so.  
  
"No, why?" he replied.  
  
I tried not to look too concerned but I could tell by the intent way Scout was looking at me, that he knew something was wrong. "I can't find him and his mother is worried, she said that he had a fight with his dad and that he might be hurt." I told him hoping he would instantly remember seeing Will, and reassure me that he was fine.   
  
But my hopes were dashed when Scout replied saying, "Oh, my god we have to find him...his Dad...they fight sometimes...but I'm supposed to be going to Bella's house her Dad went to Carson to get some parts and now he's kind of stuck there until tomorrow. Bella and her sister Grace are all alone at the garage and I said that I would go and stay with them." He looked really torn and I realise how much he valued Will and their friendship. Their relationship was real, not just some rich boy's idea of slumming it. I wanted to hug him, for caring so much about the guy I really cared about, I was happy that other people besides me could see how valuable Will, was. If only I could find him.  
  
"It's okay,' I said 'you go to Bella's they need you, I'll keep looking for Will and I'll ring you if I really need your help." He looked unsure.  
  
"Okay but promise me you'll ring me as soon as you find him" He asked, still looking like he wanted to help.  
  
"I promise." I called as I turned and hurried towards the boy's campus.  
  
The sky was covered in dark gray clouds, when I finally arrived at the campus. I climbed the stairs to Will and Scout's room two at time, I had been here earlier but I had looked every where and now I was hoping that he had come back here to lick his wounds. When I got to their room, I tried the door but it was locked. "Will, are you in there?" I asked and waited for a response. I didn't get one but just as I was turning to leave I heard a noise coming from inside the room.  
  
"Go away!" I heard him call through the door.  
  
"Will, please it's Lena I need to talk to you, to see your face. I'm not mad that you forgot to meet me I'm just worried. Your Mom's worried too, she thinks you might be hurt..." I stopped talking when I heard a key turning the lock.   
  
When I opened the door I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Will tried to hide his face from me but he wasn't quick enough, the entire left side of his face was purple and blue. It was swollen so much that his left eye was shut but I couldn't see the reason for the swelling because the whole lower half of the left side of his face was covered in blood. Some of it was dry and some of it was fresh, it was covering a good portion of his t-shirt as well.   
  
I tried not to panic, I remembered someone telling me that head injuries always bleed a lot and that it always looks worse than it really is. At that moment though I found that really hard to believe. I couldn't believe that anyone could do this kind of damage to another person, especially a father. Parents were supposed to love and understand no matter what right?  
  
"Oh, my god! What did he do to you?" I asked, as Will closed and locked the door behind me.  
  
"Look, you can't tell anyone about this, okay? It's private." Will said, as he sat down on his bed.  
  
"You have to go to the police. He can't do this to you. If you don't tell someone I will." I didn't know what else to do, it was all so wrong.  
  
"You can't, you have to promise me now that you won't say anything or our friendship is over right now." He looked really tired.  
  
"Okay. I promise. You just mean a lot to me and I don't like to see you hurt so bad. I have to ring your mother and Scout, they are both really worried about you." I walked over to the phone and made my calls. Will's mother wanted to come over but I think I managed to convince her that Will was fine. What a lie, what a joke. Will was definitely not fine. I didn't want to leave him but they didn't have a First aid kit in their room, so I had to run across the campus to the girl's dorms to get mine.  
  
When I got back to Will's room, I was soaking wet. It had started to rain cats and dogs, when I was about half way to the boy's campus. Will was exactly where he had been when I left.  
  
"Sit up. I need to clean your face." I said, sitting on a chair next to his bed.  
  
"I'm okay." Will replied but he sat up anyway.  
  
It took me about an hour to clean most of the blood off his face, and bandage the cut that I found underneath on his cheek. I got some ice from their little mini fridge and put it on his eye.  
  
"Did he hit you any where else?" I asked, taking off his T-shirt.  
  
"No, well a couple of times in the ribs but they feel okay. Nothing seems to be broken." Will answered, taking off his own pants. He had trouble reaching his shoes, so I got down on the floor to help him. I unlaced his sneakers, and removed his socks and pants. Then I kind of just sat there looking up at him.  
  
Even all bruised and banged up; he was still the cutest boy I had ever seen. I wanted to kiss him so badly but I was scared it would hurt him.   
  
"What? I know I look like a freak but the shows over, come back same time tomorrow." Will snapped, as he climbed into his bed.  
  
"You can be such an idiot sometimes for a guy who is supposed to be really smart. You don't look like a freak, a little purple, yes but that's all. You could look like death and I'd still want to kiss you." God had I said too much, too soon? What a way to start a relationship but if I had to be honest with myself, I really didn't care. I just wanted to touch him and make it all better.  
  
"You what?" Will asked, as I sat next to him on the bed.  
  
"I want to kiss you.', I replied, touching my hand to his naked chest. 'I want to touch you."  
  
"I'm no good for someone like you. You deserve better." Will said, grabbing my hand to stop it from wandering across his chest.  
  
"Maybe. I don't agree but it really doesn't matter because I want you and I know you want me. You know what I want more than I want to kiss you?" I asked him, leaning closer.  
  
"What?" He asked in return, as he started to unconsciously stroke my arm.  
  
"I want you to kiss me,' I said, moving even closer. 'And I want you to touch me." I finished, and I put his hand on my breast.  
  
Oh, god when he finally kissed me it was almost too good to be true. His lips were so soft and his hands on my body felt so right. I climbed into bed with him and removed my clothes. I couldn't believe, I was in bed, naked with the guy of my dreams.  
  
"Wait, is this what you really want? Are you sure?" Will asked, his good eye looking deep into mine. If I wasn't already in love with him, I would have fallen at that moment. He was the sweetest guy. I couldn't believe that he was actually giving me an out.  
  
"No, I mean yes. I want this. Do you?" I asked my heart in my throat.  
  
"God, yes." Will replied, laying back down and taking me with him. In a way, I couldn't believe that we were really going to do this, have sex I mean. I wanted to, it was all just a little unreal. I didn't want to hurt him any more than he already was, so I climbed on top of his lap.  
  
Oh, he was so hard. I wondered briefly about using a condom but decided against it. I was already on the pill to regulate my periods. Besides, this was going to be the first time for both of us and I wanted to feel him come inside me.  
  
We kissed and explored each other's bodies for a while, but I was so wet and he was so hard, all I wanted was him inside me. So I lifted up my hips a little and he positioned himself at my entrance. I slid down his shaft, so very slowly. Oh, my god it felt so good. I was expecting pain and awkwardness but there wasn't any. Instead it was like we had been made for each other. Like we had been making love forever.  
  
It was kind of weird because we both seemed to know exactly what to do. Will, seemed to know just where to touch me to drive me out of my mind. We moved together, slowly at first, only speeding up after neither of us could stand the friction any longer. Faster and faster he thrust, until we both came. My whole body felt like a giant firecracker that had just been let off. "I love you." I heard Will whisper; when he thought I was asleep.  
  
"I love you too." I replied, snuggling down in his arms. We fell asleep holding one another.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
SCOUT  
  
Through time and outer space, in my heart I keep a picture of your face.  
  
Never gonna let go of you, unless you want me to.  
  
I love you too much.  
  
Pull the pieces, hang them on the wall.  
  
I can't believe you knew it all  
  
Never gonna let you go, but I'll tell you all you need to know...  
  
I love you too much.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"Lena, found Will. She said that he is beat up pretty bad but that he won't go to the police. She told me to stay here; she wants to look after him. She's going to stay with him tonight." I said, after I got off the phone.  
  
"Are you sure we shouldn't go and see him? He might need us, we are his friends. Does Lena even really know him?" Bella asked me, concern etched on to her pretty face.  
  
"I think their in love with each other. Let her look after him tonight, we can go and see him tomorrow. Okay?" I said, watching for a reaction.  
  
"Okay." She replied, smiling at me, "You really think that they like each other? Because Will deserves someone pretty special, someone who will bring him happiness. And from the way Ham and Jake talk about her she must be very special."   
  
"Yeah I do. So what do the two of you want to do? Should we rent a video or something?" I asked Bella and Grace, who had just joined us in the kitchen.  
  
"You two do whatever you want. I'm going out on a date." Grace said, as she left the kitchen again.  
  
"I don't think so." Called out Bella. "Dad said we all stay here, that means you too."  
  
"Fine but then I'm picking the video." Yelled Grace, from the living room.  
  
Bella turned towards me and said, "Sometimes, I swear she's like a needle in my butt." I could help but laugh. Bella was so cute when she was angry.  
  
"What do you care anyway?' I asked, 'Didn't you spend the day watching videos with Jake? Just let her pick the video, you and I can practice our snuggling. We don't even have to actually watch it." Bella smiled again, before coming over to me.  
  
"Sounds good." She said, before kissing me.   
  
Tonight was the first time things didn't feel too strange. I felt like we were almost like a normal couple and not a couple, who had until recently thought they were brother and sister. I had to believe that these past months no matter how wrong it may seem that Bella was as much in love with me, as I was with her and that Sean had just been a cover. I love her, and all I have been able to think about is her, no matter who she was with, Sean or me. I never really gave up but now things are just as I've wanted for so long, only everything lately has felt really strained but right at that moment. The moment when she kissed me, everything felt absolutely perfect.  
  
I was glad that my best friend was okay, but I was also glad that I had come here tonight instead of going to look for Will, because if I had, I would have missed this moment. Bella and I spent most of the evening watching Grace to make sure that she didn't sneak out. We ended up hiring a movie, which we all watched together in the living room. The movie 'Stir of Echo's', was actually really cool. We made microwave popcorn and ate heaps of ice cream.  
  
After the movie Grace went to bed, or at least that's what she told us she was doing. She was probably sneaking out. I wondered where I would be sleeping, not that I wanted to have sex. Actually, I did but it didn't matter that much to me. I just wanted the closeness of sharing a bed, I had after all been dreaming about it for months but it was not to be.  
  
"Well, I guess we should probably go to bed too. I thought we could go on a picnic tomorrow, after we have been to see Will in the morning. So we should get up early." Bella suggested, as she stood. She seemed a little nervous; she was rubbing her hands up and down her arms.  
  
"Ah, okay. Good idea." I replied, waiting for her to make a move.  
  
"You can sleep down here on the couch, it pulls out. I'll just go and get you some blankets." Bella said, rushing away leaving me there to pull out the couch. I guess we would be sleeping in separate beds. Bella came back with her arms full of sheets, pillows and blankets.  
  
"Well, I guess that's all. Good night." She said, kissing me quickly on the lips.  
  
"Good night." I said, as I watched her walk away from me but when she reached the door she stopped, "Scout?" Bella asked.  
  
"Yeah?" I replied.  
  
"I...thanks for tonight, for staying over with us. It makes me feel safe, knowing that you're here with us." Bella said, then without another word she was gone. Well, it was better than nothing I guess, I thought as I drifted off to sleep.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
MORGANA  
  
It's the truth that I crave you, it's the truth that I dare,  
  
It's the truth that I love you, it's the truth I want you here.  
  
I'll never leave you alone, I'll never make you sad,  
  
And if you want my heart, it's yours to take apart.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
'Okay my life kind of sucks!' I thought, as I sat in my room all alone on a Saturday night. "Enough", I said to nobody in particular as I stood and walked over to the window. Looking down I got a happy when I saw a car park full of rich boys cars. It was after 1am, curfew had come and gone already but there had to be somewhere in this one horse nowhere town to party hearty. During the day I loved this little town of beauty and kindness but at night I was just kind of bored. Not that I'm a wild child. I'm not but I was used to more action than me, my bed and a teddy bear for company.  
  
If I took one of the rich boys cars and got it back before morning no one would ever know. Grabbing my jacket and purse I climbed out of my window. As I dangled from my windowsill I tried to fortify myself for a hard landing, but when I finally let go I landed on something soft, something human, something with hands. "Wow, Hands!" I exclaimed, as my landing pad grabbed my ass.  
  
"Just trying to extract you from my once human form." A sexy sarcastic voice moaned. A voice I recognised.  
  
"Ryder?" I asked, moving off his crumpled form. "It is you." I said, standing.  
  
"Yes, it's me. Did you have to land on me?" Ryder asked in return, getting up. "I know I've run into you a couple of times but falling on me for revenge, was that really necessary?"  
  
"It was an accident. How was I supposed to know that you would be walking past just as I happened to jump out of my window?" He looked good, I thought before I could stop myself.  
  
"You could have tried looking out of the window before jumping. Why jump? You could have killed yourself or me. What are you doing out here anyway? It's after curfew." He asked, looking me over.  
  
"None of your business. Wait, it is after curfew. So what are you doing out here walking under my window at this hour?" I ranted, kind of pissed off now. My evening was not improving like it was supposed to be.  
  
"I'm just out for a stroll." Ryder replied, avoiding eye contact.  
  
"Yeah, real believable. Look as riveting as this is I'm leaving." I said, as I turned to leave heading towards the car park. Where I found the perfect car for my fun, a red Corvette.  
  
"Somewhere you just got to be?" He asked, following me over to the Corvette.  
  
"Anywhere but here." I said, as I jumped into the car pulling the wires from under the dash, I noticed that someone had striped them already. This car had been hot wired before.  
  
"What are you doing?" Ryder asked, getting into the car with me.  
  
"Stealing a car. What are you doing?" I questioned, looking at him in the dark seat next to me.  
  
"Sitting in my car." He replied, holding up the car keys and dangling them in front of my face.  
  
"Bullshit, this is your car? Really? Figures!" I couldn't believe it, what were the odds.  
  
"Yeah." He said, watching me.  
  
"Fine, Whatever give me the keys." I said, reaching for the keys.  
  
"What? No." Ryder retorted, pulling the keys out of my reach.  
  
"Fine. You drive, let's just get out of here already!" I sighed, resigning myself to his presence and part in my escape from boredom. I climbed over him to sit in the passenger seat.  
  
"And go where?" He asked, moving into the drivers seat. He put the key in the ignition but didn't turn it on.  
  
"Anywhere that's not here." I repeated, waiting for him to decide.  
  
"I'm okay with that." Ryder returned, turning the key and driving out of the car park towards something better.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
RYDER  
  
Depraved, Ignored and Superficial,  
  
I feel depraved, ignored and superficial.  
  
Depraved, ignored and superficial.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I watched her as I drove us to a club I knew would be open in Carson. Morgana, was really pretty in the moonlight. I wanted to lean over and touch her but I didn't think she would let me. I thought about touching her for the length of our drive.   
  
"Let's go our separate ways, when we get to the club." Morgana said, when we got to Carson.  
  
"Uh, okay." I replied, What a loser. I had totally lost my nerve when it came to her. Usually when it came to girls I was so cool, so bad, I was like kiss me, touch me, come here, leave and they did whatever I said. Not now, now I was a bumbling idiot.  
  
When we were about five minutes from the club I pulled the car over and turned off the ignition. I could see Morgana was surprised by my actions; she turned to look at me in the dark but didn't speak. Moving uncomfortably in my seat I realised, that she was waiting for me to say something. "What exactly are we doing? Why are we here?" I asked, wondering why I even cared.  
  
"We are here because you just stopped here, and I was planning on dancing with some hot guy but I'm guessing that's not going to happen any more." Morgana answered, sounding slightly pissed off.  
  
"You are right no dancing with hot guys, I've decided to take you back to the dorms. I didn't really mean to ask what I did, what I really wanted to know was 'Why are you here?' and I don't just mean here with me, I mean here in New Rawley?" I asked her, curious at the expression on here face, she looked almost lost.  
  
"Why do you care? Why is it so important to you?" Morgana asked me in return, shifting in her seat, before getting out of the car completely.  
  
"I don't know, I guess you're the first person I've met here who seems worth the trouble of getting to know. Maybe I'm just gathering ammunition about you, so I can publicly humiliate you." I replied, with some honesty.  
  
Coming around to my side of the car, Morgana leaned against my car door, before replying. "What that's crap, not the stuff about me being worth the trouble, the other thing. Why do you always do that, pretend to be such a bastard? You've got everyone here believing the you are the anti-Christ."  
  
"I am a bastard." I said, truthfully.  
  
"Maybe, but why? But I don't believe it any way, there's something about you." Morgana remarked, freaking me a little.  
  
Starting the car I waited for Morgana to get back in the car, before heading back to New Rawley. Neither of us spoke on the ride back to town, both preferring the quiet. When we reached the dorms I realised that Morgana hadn't answered any of my questions. I hadden't learnt any thing new about what made her tick but I realised that I might have learned a little something about myself. "Goodnight." I said, as she got out of my car.  
  
"Yeah, goodnight.' Morgana replied, 'I just thought you should know, that just because you don't believe in yourself, that doesn't mean that no one does. I do, I believe in you Ryder Edward Ross."  
  
Startled by what Morgana had just said, I watched her walk away from me without saying anything in return. I didn't think I could speak, even if I had something to say. I just wished I had just a little of her faith. As I sneaked back into my dorm room I realised that Morgana had called me by my full name, the name I used to have before my mother re-married. I fell asleep wondering how she had found out my real name.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Sunday  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
JAKE  
  
For you, you must know.  
  
I would cry for you, I would lie for you, and I would die for you.  
  
You're killing me with the truth.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
'Oh, God', I thought when I looked at the clock. I had woken at 5am on a Sunday, "Must sleep, must sleep", I chanted trying to convince myself.  
  
"What?" Hamilton asked on a yawn, and rolling over to cuddle me.  
  
"I can't get back to sleep!" I said, hoping that if I admitted my problem it would go away. "I need more sleep," I demanded.  
  
"Me too, so shut up." Ham said but he softened it with a kiss. He snuggled me in his arms, it must have been the magic answer to my problem sleeping because the next thing I knew it was 11am. Hamilton had woken me up by rummaging through draws looking for something to wear. "What are you looking for?" I asked, sitting up.  
  
"Clean clothes." He replied, "I think today might have to be wash day. Can I borrow these jeans?" He asked holding up a pair of jeans that I thought had been lost forever amongst the cesspit that was our room.  
  
"Sure' I said, 'but what will I wear?"  
  
"Nothing, I actually believe you look best naked but then again I am kind of biased." Ham said.  
  
"Okay, yes I am going to go and do the laundry naked. I don't think anyone will notice that I'm a girl, do you?" I asked as I made the bed.  
  
"We could do it naked together." Hamilton said smiling at me as he pulled me back down onto the bed.  
  
"That isn't laundry Ham, isn't that called sex?" I smiled back standing up; I spotted what looked like a clean top. Quickly grabbing it I slipped it on over my head.   
  
"Okay, so is that a yes or no to the sex?" Ham asked while he watched me dress.  
  
"A no for now but it's a yes to laundry, only I plan on being fully clothed how about you?" I questioned him. He looked so sexy just sitting there with only my jeans on and nothing else. Even the jeans were unfastened. Sexy, sexy, sexy. I was so attracted to Ham and I loved him, so I couldn't really work out this insane fear I had about us having sex. I wasn't afraid of sex by it's self but the thought of sex with Hamilton sent a fear unlike any other right through me. It was almost like I was afraid if we had sex things would go badly for us.  
  
"I think I'll go naked, I like to live dangerously.' Ham replied, still watching me. 'It's not like I can find a top to wear." I picked up a T-shirt of mine with Our Lady Peace on the front, and threw it to him.  
  
"Wear that." I suggested as I bent to dig through the debris hopeful of finding Hamilton's shoes or mine.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
HAMILTON  
  
Her hair it shimmers and it shines.  
  
Her love is so strong, it blows over mine.  
  
I must believe in yesterday, to have tomorrow, so I can make you stay.  
  
Heartbreaker, heartbreaker, why do you hide?  
  
Come out where ever you are I need to recognise, the fear that lives inside my heart.  
  
Heartbreaker, heartbreaker, please die.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"Thanks" I said as I put on Jakes T-shirt. I thought about helping her to look for our shoes but I then thought my time would be best spent picking up the dirty clothes that littered every surface of our room. Grabbing a garbage bag, I began to shove our clothes into the bag. "Man, we are a couple of pigs!" I muttered.  
  
"Yes, yes we are. I can do the washing if you like. Didn't you have some plans with Will today?" Jake asked, as she put on the shoes she had found under our bed. They didn't match.  
  
Trying not to laugh at my girlfriend, I explained that both of us had been requested to join Will in his after date dissection. "Will, asked me to ask if you would come because you already know Lena so well. After all you two practically dated last summer." I couldn't help it I lost it almost wetting my pants at the thought of Jake being kissed by some girl who thought she was a guy.  
  
"Funny." Jake responded as she whacked me over the head with the garbage bag of dirty clothes. "Take that and that Mr. funny man." She said as she this time launched herself at me.  
  
We rolled together to the floor me on the bottom and her on top of me. We stopped laughing, realising the blatantly sexual position that we were in with her straddling my fast growing erection. I leaned up and she leaned down towards me until our mouths met in a passionate kiss. Jake was touching me and stroking me every where, her hands underneath my T-shirt. I broke our kiss so that I could kiss and lick her collarbone my own hands now traveling under her T-shirt. Stroking her nipples as she moaned into my mouth and began to dry hump me, her sex rubbing against mine. The friction so great it wasn't long before we both exploded. Lying together, breathing deep I lifted my head to look into her eyes trying to gage if she was okay with what had just happened between us. It had been a first. I knew that she wasn't ready for intercourse yet but what we had just done was pretty damn close.  
  
Close enough to make us both come like crazy. Jake's eyes were closed, when I said "Well so much for clean clothes, I don't know about you but my jeans feel a little sticky."  
  
"I...we..." Jake replied. I was just starting to get worried that she was upset about what had just happened when she grabbed my hand and put in her pants, between her legs.  
  
God, she was so wet. I had done this to her. It was because of me wasn't it?  
  
"Thank you." Jake said and kissed me. I removed me hand from her pants so she could sit up. We kissed some more but just when I was starting to get hard again she pushed me away. "I love you but I can't yet." Jake told me as she turned away from me.  
  
All of a sudden I felt so cold, without her touch, without her near me. "I understand and as much as I love you and want you, I kind of feel the same. I don't know that I'm ready but I do need you. Please don't leave me or us, this, what just happened yet. Please come back to me, I need to hold you." I said and I meant it I did want her but at that moment all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms to keep her close to me, so I could breathe again.  
  
"Okay, but just holding no caressing." Jake said as she lay down with me again on the floor. I agreed, I was all caressed out anyway. So I just held her, breathing in her scent, our scent the scent of our love. I held her and I was able to breath again.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Will's voice over:- Home. I finally found it, it's not the house I grew up in and it's not here at Rawley. It's Lena and every thing about her. It's her essence, it fills me with such love and joy, and it makes any thing appear possible to me. When I'm with Lena my past and my Father just fade away in to the darkness. Hurt cannot reach me, because it is darkness and Lena is light. I love her, she is my home. The last few days have been like coming home after a very long trip. But it's more than just Lena; it's me too, the way I am when I'm with her and the way loving her sets me free. In her arms, wrapped in her love, I've come home.  
  
************************************************************************************* 


	4. Fragments, Aftermath

Title: Episode Guide - The Fall Session

Rating: R, it will have a bit of sex in this Part.

Category: Every one, but mostly Jake and Hamilton. Plus Ryder and Morgana. This fanfic is mostly centred around Lena and Will. I'm mostly a Jake and Hamilton fan but something about the idea of Will with Lena really gets me!

Disclaimer: I don't own them, except for Mr Fujiwara, Morgana, Yuka Higashi, Ken Sanigi and Madam O'Durand but I wish I did.

The Fall Session

Part Four - Fragments, Aftermath

_Sunday Continued_

_Will's voice over: - Decisions, life changing decisions. Why is it that we always make them without really realising it? It's like one day you do something that sets off a whole chain reaction of events, that you didn't intend on happening and before you know it you're at a point of no return. Once you make a decision, once you take that first step, it's already happening and there is no turning back. No doing it over. You can try as hard as you can, you can wish and you can dream but once the balls in motion, there is no going back. Sometimes you just know that the choice you just made was a bad one but it's too late. You continue along even though you know it's the wrong path, because you still want it. You still need it to happen. Someone once said 'Be careful what you wish for.' but I think it should have been 'be careful what you want'. Especially when it involves other people, because you just might get it and find out that you can't give it back. You can't make it not have happened. What is right and what is wrong don't really count either. Lena and I shouldn't have made love, it was mistake but it happened. I made a decision, now I'm just waiting for her to get hurt. I'm waiting for the pain._

LENA

Love

When I awoke the sun was still hiding behind the clouds, and the rain was still falling outside. I rolled over onto my side, so I could look at Will, while he slept. It was dark in the room but there was enough light for me to see his face. My heart hurt as I took in the sight of his bruised and battered face but as he moved in sleep, I smiled. I had expected to feel some kind of morning after regrets/doubts, when I woke up this morning but I couldn't dredge any to the surface. All I felt was loved. I felt totally secure in my decision to have sex with Will, because I loved him and it had been beautiful. What could I possibly have to regret.

Will, chose that moment to roll over towards me, so that we were facing each other. He reached out in sleep and grabbed a hold of my waist, pulling me closer and into his arms. I must have fallen asleep then because when I awoke again later Will, was gone and the spot in the bed where he had been with me before I fell asleep was cold. He had been gone awhile. I looked around but there was no note.

I got up and put on my clothes. Hoping that Will, would return before I completed my task, so that I wouldn't have to go looking for him. I didn't want to come across as the desperate praise-seeking girl I was quickly becoming. All of a sudden, my doubt, regret free mind was filled with negative and depressing thoughts. I was becoming just like girls I usually found myself shaking my head at, in disappointment and shame. Now I too, was looking for a little reassurance from a guy. A guy who for all accounts and purposes had deserted me after a night, of what I thought had been pure bliss.

After I finished dressing, I made the bed. Sitting down on the bed, I tried to convince myself that Will, had just gone to get us some breakfast but as ten minutes, turned into twenty, and twenty into an hour. I began to get really worried, his bruised face and battered body a vivid memory. A hundred 'What ifs?' streamed through my head. What if he had some internal injury that had only just presented itself? What if he was hurt and all alone? Then as if by magic my worry became anger. He knew I was waiting, and any intelligent person would assume that I would worry about him until he returned. Almost as quick as it had come my anger disappeared, but one last 'What If?' kept swirling around my head. It had a hold of me and it wouldn't let go. What if he didn't want me any more? What if he was hiding, just waiting for me to leave, so he could return to his room without me making a scene?

WILL

Wanted

When I had fallen asleep, for the first time in forever I had felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt important and loved. Invincible even but it was all just a lie, like the calm before the storm.

When I woke up, I found myself in a panic. I looked at Lena, lying naked in my bed, in my room and I just had to get out of there. I got dressed as quickly and as quietly as I could. Then I just bailed, I didn't know what else to do but I knew that I couldn't let Lena see me freaking out. So I just ran, as fast as I could away from my dorm and away from Lena.

Only stopping when I could go no further the pain from my probably broken ribs, crippling me. I sat down by the lake under some trees and proceeded to watch the sun come up. It took me about twenty minutes to realise that I hadden't been running away from Lena at all. I had been running from my life and myself.

I had this habit that I just couldn't seem to kick. I was like a smoker with a craving. I was always biting off more than I could chew. Like trying to live my life here at Rawley Academy, while trying to continue to be a townie and hang out with all my old friends. It was impossible; I just didn't have time for everyone. So someone was always going to be left out and my townie friends didn't like my new friends. All I had to do was look at Scout and Sean together, to know that it was a lost cause but still I tried to push everyone together anyway. Then there was Caroline, a girl who was totally out of my league but I had to try to be something I wasn't. Even being myself there was my dad and I didn't want to drag Lena into that.

I knew that I wanted Lena, to be a part of my life but I also knew that it wouldn't be very fair to pull her into my cesspool of existence. My life was like a bomb just waiting to explode and all I wanted to do was to crawl inside of Lena, where it was warm and safe but it just couldn't be like that. When the bomb went off it would be Lena, who would suffer the most. Maybe I was selfish, because I knew that if I hurt her, it would be like cutting off my legs and I didn't want that kind of pain. I felt like I would die without her but I knew that in reality if I ever really hurt her, the pain would be much worse than death. I would cease to exist. Without her there would be nothing but an empty useless shell.

Oh, God. What was I going to say to Lena? Sorry we had sex, I didn't mean to. It was an accident? What? How was I going to make this okay again? I wasn't good enough for Lena, she deserved someone better. I needed to think, I had to fix it but all I could think about was how incredible it felt to be inside her. God, I didn't even use any protection. Lena, had said it was okay but what the hell did that mean? What was that? Okay? I couldn't help but think, would it ever really be okay again?

I looked at my watch; I had been gone almost two hours. Shit. Lena probably thought that I had deserted her. Well, I guess I kind of had. I stood up and hurried back to my dorm. Lena deserved more than to wake up to an empty dorm room, with no explanation. She deserved more than I could give her. Part of me wanted her to be there when I got back but a part of me also wondered how I would actually feel if she wasn't there. Shattered, was my immediate answer. Oh, God I hope she is still there.

BELLA

Bothered

I didn't sleep much on Saturday night. It could have been because Charlie wasn't home, or it could have been because I was worried about Will but in truth it was probably because Scout was sleeping on the couch downstairs. I was being genuine when I told Scout, that his presence made me feel safe. Safe from the outside world, but I still felt that I was not quite safe from him. I knew he wanted more from me than I could ever give him. Don't get me wrong I still love him but now it's confusing. I'm still not sure if it's because I want to be with him, or because I had thought he was my brother. Did I love him like a brother? I just didn't know any more.

Things were just so strange between us now. We weren't friends, and I didn't know if we would ever be friends. Things had always just been too intense between us for friendship. I guess that's what was really bothering me. If we couldn't even be friends, how would we ever really be together? I look at Jake and Hamilton, and I know they love each other but before anything else, they are each other's best friends first. Without each other, they would be completely lost.

I felt that Scout was a part of me. I just didn't know if he was the right part. I thought I might ask Hamilton to ask his dad, about a scholarship application form for me. Maybe, things would get better for Scout, and myself if we could just spend more time together. Yet even as I contemplated it, I could feel myself withdraw from the idea of spending more time with Scout. I knew that I had been avoiding Scout when I could but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Besides I really had my heart set on going to the American School of Ballet, I had to if I wanted a real chance of getting into Julliard.

I was so busy feeling sorry for myself, that I didn't hear Grace come into my room. When she spoke, she scared the crap out of me and I jumped out of bed, like a guilty child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Um, are you okay?" Grace asked me as I sat slowly back down on my bed.

"Yeah, you just startled me is all.' I replied, 'Are you okay? You never come into my room"

"That's because I know you hate me coming in here.' Grace sat down on the bed next to me. 'I really don't feel welcome."

"I don't hate you coming in here, I just wish you'd ask me if you could borrow my things before just taking them. Trust me you are welcome in here, I'm just glad it's you and not..." I stopped, a little lost for words.

"Scout? I thought things were getting better between the two of you. If not, I guess that explains why I could hear you tossing and turning all night long." Grace said, picking up my new lipstick and putting it into her skirt pocket. I decided not to mention her kleptomaniac habits again. Grace amazed me for two reasons. One, she was being really perceptive lately and two; I didn't think she even realised that she had taken my new lipstick. It's like it was part of her DNA or something. What belonged to me must therefore also be hers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you awake. I just couldn't sleep, I was trying to sort everything out in my head." I said, apologising.

"Don't worry about it. Although, I did expect that if you were going to keep me awake it would have been because you and Scout were going at it like rabbits." Grace said, smiling. Man I thought she seems to know a lot about it. I Wonder? No, it's not possible. Is it? I knew she went out with lots of different guys, and I had heard that she had a bit of a reputation for being 'outgoing' and 'friendly' but I had just thought it was mostly guys talking big for their friends. However, she seemed pretty comfortable talking about sex.

"Or not, obviously. It's cool that you guys want to wait until you're sure.' Grace said, walking to the door. 'Anyway, I really just came up here to tell you that I made waffles for breakfast and that they are ready."

"Gracie?" I asked, stopping her from leaving.

"Yes?" She questioned, turning to look back at me.

"I'm sorry if I ruined your night. I'm sure you probably had a date or something; you would have rather done but thanks for sticking around. I really am sorry if I kept you awake.." I answered.

"It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway. It's weird when Dad's not here, isn't it?" Grace said, reminding me that she was still my little sister.

"Yeah, it is. I'll be down in a minute. Save me some waffles, don't let Scout eat them all." I said, smiling as Grace left my room. I was still getting dressed, a few minutes later when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Yeah?" I asked.

"It's me. I was just thinking, maybe we should leave Will alone today. I just spoke to him, and I think he and Lena have some stuff that they have to deal with. So, I was thinking. Would it be okay if I hang around here for the rest of the day? I know we were going to go on that picnic, but it still hasn't stopped raining. I could help you work in the garage, until Charlie gets back, okay?" Scout inquired, through the door. All of a sudden sounding very unsure of himself.

"Sounds good. I could use the help." I replied, surprised by his newborn insecurity. Had I done that? I hoped not, I thought as I opened the door. I smiled at him and we went downstairs to eat breakfast together. Maybe, this would be the day when everything went back to normal again. Maybe.

Monday

FINN

Father

"The songs you all came up with were brilliant. I wouldn't be surprised if you all started appearing on MTV. There is definitely talent in this class room.' I looked around the classroom to make sure everyone was paying attention, before continuing. 'I want you all to start thinking about memories. Childhood memories. I want to know something that haunts you from your childhood. This will be your major assignment for the Fall Session. I want you to express yourself now, in a way that you could not back then. I'll let you know when it's due and all the other details that you will need later, but for now just consider what memories you could use for this assignment. Get to work." I signalled the end of class.

"Will, could you stay behind please." I asked, as everyone was leaving.

"What's up?" He asked, as he came over to my desk. It was almost a hysterical question, considering his appearance. He looked like he had been hit by a truck and then by a train.

"That's what I was going to ask you. Obviously somebody enjoyed using your face as his or her personal punching bag. I just want to know who it was, because if it was another student, or it occurred on school grounds there are very harsh penalties for fighting at this school." I finished my tirade.

"It wasn't a student and it occurred some where else. So no offence but I really don't want to talk about it." Will replied, gathering his belongings ready to leave.

"I'm afraid that's really too bad Will. School policy, clearly states that fighters be punished. Both parties. If you have been fighting, I need to know so I can help you when the Dean starts asking questions." I wondered what he was hiding. Generally Will, was my best student. Well-behaved and very intelligent, fighting just didn't really seem like something he would do. I waited while he sat down at the desk closest to mine.

"I haven't been fighting. What happened to me didn't occur on school property. I don't see what the big deal is. Can't you just take me at my word, when I tell you that this will be the last time he ever hits me." Will said, banging his fist hard on the top of the desk. I was surprised by Will's actions, he was a passionate boy but I had never seen him looking so raw before. To be honest he reminded me of myself at his age.

"Will, I don't want to pry into your personal life but someone obviously hit you more than once. If the Dean does happen to see you, then he will want to know who was responsible. I thought that it might be easier for you to tell me, rather than the Dean." I got up from my desk and walked over to where he was sitting. Wanting to get a better look at his face. It looked terrible and I just wanted to make sure that Will, wasn't more seriously injured than I thought.

"Fine but unless the Dean asks about my face this conversation, never happened. What I tell you stays between us. Deal?" Will asked, letting me turn his head in the light, for a better look at his swollen jaw.

"Deal, but I want the whole story, not the edited version." Will, agreed and proceeded to tell me his story. It took him twenty minutes to explain to me that his father was a ghoul. How any father could beat their child left me speechless but beating a child like Will baffled me. A smart, well-mannered, considerate and responsible child like Will was a gift. It was like winning the baby lottery. I just didn't get it. If Will, was my son I would be so proud to be his father, I couldn't imagine betraying him like his father had. "I'm sorry you had to go through that Will. Has it happened before?" I asked, praying to myself that it had been a one time occurrence but with a sinking heart I knew what his answer would be before he told me.

"It's not an uncommon action on my father's part. It was just much worse this time because I'm bigger and I actually tried defending myself. Which obviously didn't go too well but I was afraid to fight back. Not because I was afraid of his retribution but I was afraid, that once I started hitting him I wouldn't be able to stop myself from killing him. His an asshole but I don't want him dead, just the hell away from me." Will, stood up and gathered his things once again. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he thought this conversation was over.

"Will, I think you should consider going to the police about this. You can't let your father get away with hurting you like this." I said, trying to appeal to his better judgment.

"No way!" Will replied with vehemence, backing away from me.

"Why not? You don't owe him anything. He stopped being a parent, the first time he hit you.' I asked taken back by the force of his pervious response. 'I would never let anyone hurt Morgan the way he has hurt you. The one thing I have always done for her was make sure she was always safe with all of my ex-wife's new husbands."

"No, I'm sure you're right and I have no respect for him. I have even less affection for him but I do love and respect my mother, and she would be hurt the most if I was to go to the police. I won't subject her to the police hassling her because of something that happened between my father and myself.' Said Will, heading for the corridor. When he reached the door, he stopped and turned to look at me. 'Besides, you promised me, that you would keep my confidence. I trusted you. Please don't let that be another mistake on my record." And with that he was gone.

I thought about going after him but decided against it. He probably needed some space. I left Rawley Academy and headed into town. I don't know what I was doing, what I hoped to achieve. Maybe, I was hoping to see Will's dad and get a chance to teach him a lesson of my own. However, when I reached the main street of town, I realised that I didn't even know what Will's parents looked like. I should though, I thought to myself. I had vested so much of myself in Will's future at Rawley Academy, it seemed strange that I had never met his family but then again I was having enough trouble meeting my daughter after twelve years of separation. Twelve years of being told that I couldn't be a part of her life, and now she was taking over mine. Funny I thought to myself, Will and Morgana had a lot in common it would be interesting to see what would come of it and us.

SCOUT

Sibling

At lunch I sat with Jake and Hamilton, and I wondered what horrific childhood memory I could use for our English assignment. I really didn't have any. Lunch was unusually quiet today because Will, Lena, Ken, Yuko and Morgana were all M.I.A (missing in action), and all Hamilton and Jake seemed to want to do is pash each other. Which was understandable, they love each other. Plus they are both totally hot. Not that I'm that way inclined but Hamilton is a fine male specimen, as is Jake. Ha, ha, ha.

Funny, my laughing broke through the tongue-lashing that they were enjoying. "What's so funny?" Asked Jake, swatting Hamilton's hand away from her ass.

"Nothing.' I replied, smiling. 'It's just good to see you two out in public together as a couple."

"Well, hiding behind this Maple tree isn't really out in public as much as it is hiding in plain sight.' Jake said, with a smile and a wink. 'But I mean yeah, we have been lucky. All the guys seem cool with it and everything. We just don't want Hamilton's parents to see us, that's all. Hence, the Maple tree hide out."

"You don't want my parents to see us, I don't much care." Hamilton stated, going in for the arse again only to be shot down, when Jake moved away from him.

"Hamilton, you can not let your parents think your gay, when your really not. It isn't fair to them or you.' Jake said, picking up her rubbish. 'Come on. Let's go to class. We can talk about this later. Has anyone seen Will?" She asked, as an afterthought.

"Sure, he's fine. You know what he's like." I replied, thinking about how strong Will must be, not to have hit his father back.

"If it was me I would have smacked back asked questions later." Hamilton declared. It was almost what I had been thinking.

"Yeah, Will defiantly has more restraint that I do. If it were my father I would want to do some smacking of my own. Hamilton, we are late let's get to class. Scout, we'll see you later. Let Will know if he needs anything..." Jake paused.

"We are here for him." Hamilton finished.

"Sure, I'll let him know. I have a free period now, so I'll see you guys later." I replied.

"See ya later man." Hamilton continued, as the two of them headed to class.

I sat there by myself for a while and tried to think of a memory that would be suitable for my assignment but all I could think about was Bella and our relationship. It was so strange; all I had wanted for so long was for us to be together and now that we were it just didn't feel right. I suppose a whole summer thinking she was my sister had to kill some of the attraction but I just couldn't understand why now that we were together the need that I had felt for her, when we were a part was gone and all that was left in it's place was confusion.

One minute it was just like it used to be when we first met, then in a second everything changes. Saturday night and all day Sunday, everything was almost normal but there were moments where we were like strangers. Moments when we both realised that things were not the way they should be. On Sunday, while I helped Bella run the garage, I felt her pulling away from me. What really scared me was that I didn't panic, I didn't really feel anything. The girl I thought I was in love with was pulling away from me and I felt nothing. I felt neither disappointment, rejection nor anger but strangely enough I felt relief. Now I couldn't work out if I was just reacting to her or if I was really just totally confused. Was I just trying to tell myself that I loved Bella or was I lying to myself? Did I love her?

I looked at my watch; I had been sitting by myself under the tree for almost an hour. All that time and I had nothing to show for it. I got up and headed for class. Maybe, everything would be okay if we could just spend some more time together alone.

JAKE

Jumble

Class was extremely boring for the rest of the day. When school was finally over I practically bolted towards town and away from Hamilton. Don't get me wrong, I totally love him but the whole almost sex drama on Sunday, has changed things between us. Every time he touches me I melt and freeze at the same time. I'm just not ready for sex, but I want to be with him. It's just so confusing. I'm not really sure how Hamilton feels about what happened on Sunday. We have talked about having sex but we decided to wait and then on Sunday we both just kind of lost it. I enjoyed it, I came but after I felt so bad because I thought that he wanted so much more from me. More than I was ready to give him. The rest of the day was spent with the two of us avoiding each other.

We were supposed to go and see Will but he rang and told us that he was busy. It wasn't until today that we found out that his dad had hit him. I also get the idea that something has happened between him and Lena but I have not been able to pin either of them down to talk to them about it.

After leaving school I went into town to see Bella. When I arrived at the garage Charlie told me that she had gone down to the lake. Heading down to the lake, I spotted Bella on the path a head of me. "Bella, wait up." I called out, as I ran towards her.

"Hey Babe, how are you?" Bella asked, as she turned around.

"Pretty crappy actually and yourself?" I said, catching up to her.

"I'm okay, except for the whole trying to avoid Scout thing. What's your problem? Tell Dr. Banks all about it." Bella suggested, as we reached the lake. We sat on an empty bench and I thought about the best way to explain my Dilemma to Bella, without sounding like a big giant wanker.

"It's Hamilton. Well, actually it's not Hamilton it's me. We talked, we both decided no, and then it kind of just happened. We both got there if you know what I mean but technically I'm still the big V. Now I don't know what's going on. I don't know how Hamilton feels but I know that I'm not ready. I guess my problem is what if Hamilton is?" I blurted out.

"Are we talking about sex because if we're not, I've got no idea what you are talking about." Bella inquired, shaking her head at me.

"Yeah, I'm talking about sex. You know the universal question, to do it or not to do it? It's so silly, I love him, I want him but I'm so scared of having sex with him. It's like I'm scared it's going to change everything." I told her, doing a bit of head shaking of my own. "I mean just look at what almost having sex has done to me, it's turned me into a raving crazy person and now I don't know how to talk to Hamilton about it. Which I guess is the real problem. I've never had a problem sharing and talking to Hamilton about anything before. I'm sure he thinks I've lost it, I practically ran away from him toady after class." I finished, looking helpless.

Bella looked at me for a minute before saying, "Look I'm not really clear on what happened between the two of you but I think you're talking to the wrong person about it. The one person that you're busy running away from is the one that you should be talking to. Things are just going to continue to become weird between the two of you, if you don't talk to each other and clear the air."

"I know that you're right but I'm still a little scared. What if this totally stuffs things up between us?" I asked, on the verge of tears. This was crazy, I never cried. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Look, everything will work out fine, of that I'm sure. Just think about the other big dramas that you and Hamilton have been through, a little misunderstanding about something to do with sex is nothing compared to you pretending to be a boy and Hamilton thinking he's gay. Promise me that you will talk to him." Bella finished, making me feel somewhat better.

"Okay, I promise but when the time is right. Thanks for saving me from having a complete melt down." I said.

"What are friends for?" Bella answered, with a cheeky smile on her face and proceeded to push me in the lake fully clothed. I came up spluttering, accepting the hand she offered me I pulled her into the lake with me. Laughing, shaking and dripping wet we headed back to town. As I said goodbye to Bella, I promised myself that I would talk to Hamilton about what had happened between us, just as soon as the time was right.

HAMILTON

Heart

After class I saw Will, heading for the dorms. I called out to stop him but I guess he didn't hear me, because he kept going. I managed to catch up with him at his dorm room. Knocking on the door I thought about what I wanted to say. It was weird; I was so use to having most of my serious conversations with Jake but after watching her practically run away from me after class; I figured I needed back up of the male variety. One thing was for sure if one more person ran away from me today I was going to end up with a complex.

"Come in...' I heard Will call through the door. Opening the door I saw Will, with his back to me shove what looked like female underwear under his pillow. 'Oh, Hey Hamilton, what can I do for you?" Will asked acting like nothing had happened.

"Hey, I just wanted to have a chat but if you're busy I can come back later.' I suggested. 'Oh, my god Will; are you okay?" I asked shocked at the extent of the bruising on Will's face. I had seen him in class earlier but I hadden't spoken to him and seeing him up close like this I felt extremely silly coming here to discuss my love life.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing really. Now what did you want to chat about?" Will asked, silently urging me to forget his bruises.

"Jake, we kind of almost had sex on Sunday and now we're both freaking out about it." I said, hoping for some of his infamous insight.

"Must have had something to do with the rain." Will muttered to himself.

"What?" I asked, extremely curious because Jake thought something had happened between Lena and Will on the Weekend.

"I don't know that I'm really the best person to talk to about this." Will replied, sitting down on his bed indicating that I should do the same.

"I don't have anyone else to talk to about it. Scout is still a little weird when I talk about Jake and I, and I don't know how to approach Jake about it because she keeps running away." I said, sitting on Scout's bed.

"Okay, I will try and help you but I think you should know something first before you consider taking any of my love life advice. On the weekend Lena and I made love and then afterwards I got up to go for a walk and clear my head. I didn't realise it at the time but I had been gone for about two hours, leaving Lena to wake up in my bed alone, wondering what the hell was going on. When I got back here she had already left and I haven't had a chance to speak to her yet and as far as I know she probably thinks that I just used her. I wouldn't be surprised if she hates me." Will finished, shocking me once again. Out of all the things that he could have told me it was the last thing I would have thought, would come out of his mouth.

"Well,' I said, not really knowing what else to say. 'I think that you should really try to talk to her about it. Lena's a pretty smart girl, she must know that you would never hurt her that way deliberately."

"Thanks but I thought I was supposed to be giving you advice. You should probably tell me what I'm advising on because you were pretty vague before. What do you mean you kind of almost had sex?" Will asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"Well, we have talked about having sex before and we both decided that it would be best if we waited a little longer but on Sunday we kind of got a little carried away." I told him.

"Carried away how?" Will asked. He looked like he was in pain so I decided to cut straight to the chase and just come right out with it.

"We...ahh, we dry humped each other, you know when you have clothes on and you kind of just rub against each other..." I answered, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"I get it!' Will practically shouted. 'I don't think I need all the details. I think basically that you need to follow your own advice. You and Jake have to talk about what happened or else this whole thing is just going to blow up into a much bigger deal than it really is."

"Do you think I should give her some space first?" I asked getting up from Scout's bed and walking to the window.

"My guess is that when she ran from you earlier she was headed into town to talk to Bella. If it was me I might give her a couple of hours but then I would talk to her.' Will answered, sighing he dragged his left hand down his face and walked over to where I was standing. 'Just talk to her Hamilton and soon, don't leave it too long."

"I won't thanks man for listening. I'm sorry to bring this shit to you today of all days when clearly you have enough of your own crap to worry about. If you need to talk about Lena or your Dad, I'm here for you man. We all are." I said, hugging him quickly before heading to the door.

"I know you are that's what makes all this shit bearable. I'm going to be okay but thanks for the offer. I'll see you later Ham." Will said as he turned back to look out of the window.

"Yeah later man." I said heading to the dorm room that Jake and I shared hoping to find her there.

Wednesday

MORGANA

Myelocytic

With classes finished for the day I was once again bored. Don't get me wrong I had made some great new friends but they seemed to all be very hard to found lately. I was trying not to take it personally as there was obviously something going on between Jake and Hamilton that they were having trouble dealing with. I decided a trip to the fourth floor lounge was a good idea. It was a little room tucked behind the stairs and if it weren't for Will, I would have never even known it was there. Settling into a big comfy over-sized armchair, I started thinking about my conversation with Ryder on Saturday night and the kiss earlier in the day.

Oh, man was that a kiss. I have never been kissed like that before it was so hot but more than that it was connected. I chuckled to myself, it sounded so silly in my head but that was exactly how I felt. Connected. I felt connected to Ryder. I haven't felt connected to anyone in such a long time. The kiss was probably part of why I was so restless on Saturday night. It was strange I felt connected to Ryder yet when I was alone with him all I wanted to do was get a way from him because he made me feel diss-connected from myself.

I had no control over my own body or mind. I wanted to touch him but I also wanted to hold him in my arms like a small child. He always looked so forlorn, like a lost little boy. He made me want to soothe all of his past hurts and make his future more free. It's a weird way to explain how I felt but it was like I was the only one who could really see who Ryder was, not even Ryder himself seemed to know who he was. I was beginning to think that he had convinced himself that he really was a bastard, not worth knowing.

I told him that I believed in him, cause I do. I just don't know if I can help him. I wasn't sure if it was worth a broken heart because mine had already been smashed to pieces by my parents and I didn't think it could handle another beating. Ryder had heartbreaker written all over him.

I was just thinking about leaving when Will came into the lounge and sat down on the chair across from me. "Guess it's not so private here anymore, since you told me about your secret hidey hole. If you want I can leave." I asked him, determined not to ask him about his bruises. I figured everyone else had probably harassed him enough as it was, I didn't want to be his next basher.

"No, that's fine. It's actually kind of nice to find someone here for once.' He responded. 'Unless you wanted to be alone?" He looked so unsure of himself that I answered quickly.

"I've had more than the recommended dosage of alone time already. Maybe we could have that discussion on what it's like to be us?" I suggested. I really wanted to pick his brain about Ryder but I decided to let him decide on the topic of conversation. I watched as he made himself more comfortable, a look of pain touched his face briefly as he shifted in his chair and I wondered if he had broken ribs to match his black eye.

"Sounds good. So who are you Morgana Le Fay? Have you come to do ill to Finn?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"So you know the story of King Arthur.' I replied. 'I mean Finn no ill will, no pun intended but he might not agree with me. I'm not sure he really wants me here."

"What about you, do you want to be here?" Will asked.

"Here is as good as any where else." I answered, not really sure where this was going.

"So do you guys get on? It's really strange we didn't even know Finn had a daughter." Will said looking at his hands; he had bruises on his knuckles. I had heard the stories about what had happened with his dad, I guess he must have hit back.

"We haven't seen each other in like twelve years. So we don't really have much of a relationship. I guess that's why I'm here but I'm not sure why I bothered. It's not like he even really wants me here." I said, looking at my own hands. I wanted another tattoo. It was a weird thought but I had it often enough to know that it was a reaction to feelings of insecurity. Like when someone is nervous and bits their nails. It was the same only when I was nervous or upset I got another tattoo. I had twelve already. My best friend back in New York Dana had once suggested that there was a connection between the number of tattoos that I have and the number of years it had been since I saw my father. I had seen him everyday for the last month or so and I still wanted another one. Most of the time I kept then well hidden except for the fairy on my back, it was my biggest one and it had hurt the most so I wore it proudly.

"Wow, twelve years is a really long time. I'm sure he wanted to see you. He said something to me earlier about how he always made sure that you were safe with all of your new step-fathers." Will said.

"He did?' I didn't think dad had even thought about me during the last twelve years, let alone checked up on me but what Will said did make some sense because dad had known about my running. 'I don't get it why didn't he ever contact me?" I wondered out aloud.

"Maybe he couldn't.' Will suggested. 'Maybe you guys should talk."

"Maybe,' I said. 'I'm not really ready yet I don't even know who Finn is, I need to wait until I do." Will started to cough and wheeze. "Are you okay?' I asked, hating that I had to ask at all. 'Maybe I should just stop bitching at least my dad never hit me."

"I'm fine.' He started to laugh.

"What?' I asked. 'What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking about how interesting our childhood memory assignments are going to be. You with your absentee father and me with mine who likes breaking my bones for fun." He was cracking up now, and he couldn't stop laughing. I found myself smiling at his cruel joke; it was true both of our childhoods had sucked.

"I guess we will have to be great friends then, after all we have so much in common." I said still smiling.

"I think so too. Thanks for not asking about what happened." Will said, getting up to leave.

"Sure, I figured you probably had enough people who cared about you. I thought I'd go for uninterested." I replied.

"I get it! They just care about me. Thanks." He said as he reached the door.

"Sure any time. Let's talk again soon Okay?" I asked.

"Okay." He answered.

"Will before you go what can you tell me about Ryder Forrest?" I asked stopping him from leaving.

"Ryder he's an enigma. I know there's more to him than what he shows everyone. I'm just not sure it's anything worth talking about. I know I don't trust him why?" Will inquired, one eyebrow raised.

"I like him. I think he's a good guy deep down. I think he's just forgotten how to be human but I really like him." I answered.

"Be careful he's been know to break hearts and yours is too good for his scrap heap." Will said.

"Thanks, I was worried about that." I said as he left. Great my prince charming was a frog.

KEN

Karma

I can't believe I'm going on a date with a girl I don't really like and who I have no wish to spend time with. I'm sure Elisha Kelly is a really nice girl but she isn't Yuko. The only upside to this whole date idea was that once Yuko realised I wasn't going to fall in love with Elisha, she would become my slave.

I was dressed and ready for my date but I had sometime to kill before I had to meet Elisha. While I waited I decided to relax, so I lay down on my bed.

"Hey there Nancy Boy, I thought you had a date?" Ryder asked as he entered our room. His hair was wet so I assumed he'd just had a shower.

"Hey yourself you Pommy Bastard. I do have a date it's just not for another hour or so. I was wondering where you were." I said sitting up.

"I had a shower, you know I thought it was time." Ryder answered.

"I haven't see much of you lately where have you been?" I asked.

"Here and there, never really anywhere." Ryder answered.

"Okay, what about last Saturday night? I woke up and your were gone you got a girlfriend or something?" I questioned.

"Or something. I just went for a drive. No girlfriend. So, enough about me. Are you going to tell that little Japanese strumpet that you've got it bad for her? Or do I have to sit around and listen to you bitch and moan about it for the whole year?" Ryder asked.

"No I can't say anything. I don't want to ruin our friendship." I said.

"If you don't tell her how you feel, you're never going to get any." Ryder said.

"I know,' I moaned, shaking my head. 'But I can't risk it. She means too much to me."

"Well, I think you should go for it she seems to like you but in the mean time if Elisha offers you anything should probably take her up on it. Otherwise you my friend are going to end up the world's oldest Nancy Boy virgin." Ryder said throwing a pillow at me.

Grabbing the pillow I threw it back at him, hitting him in the head. "Stop being a prick. I know you don't really think that or you wouldn't be chasing Morgan around like a puppy dog. Before you deny it I've seen you. I've also seen you turn down at least four girls who have come on to you and from what I hear you are the biggest slut at this school. So if it's not love must be gay." I said my tongue firmly tucked in my cheek.

"I'm not gay or in love. I'm just bored of all the girls here I've already dated most of them and the one's I haven't don't interest me. Morgana is different. If you want to know, I actually think she's quite weird.' Ryder said ducking his head so I couldn't see his face but it was too late I had seen it. He was blushing. 'Well, then look at the time if you don't leave now you are going to be late for your big non-date date." He finished, determined to have the last word. I let him have it.

Grabbing my coat I said goodbye and left. I took Elisha to the movies hoping that I wouldn't have to talk to her much but it turns out she's a movie talker. You know the type has a comment or question about everything. The really strange thing was I had a really good time if it wasn't for the fact that I'm already in love with Yuko, Elisha would make a great girlfriend.

As our date neared to an end I began to feel bad. I liked this girl and it felt wrong using her like this so I owned up. I told her the truth. She actually thought that it was kind of funny. Walking her to her dorm I asked if we could be friends.

"I hope so,' she said. 'I had a really good time. Maybe we could just hang out together sometime." I left her wondering what I was going to tell Yuko. I guess this meant that I lost the bet. Or rather I won it depending how you look at it.

RYDER

Rebel

It was crazy in just a week Ken and I had become friends. He trusted me, I had become his confidant and it was a heady rush of power. I had never really had a friend before and most of the time I had no idea how to act. Sharing a room made it difficult but I had become the facade a long time ago. I didn't even know what was really me and what was an act anymore. I understood why Ken couldn't tell Yuko how he felt. He said it was because he didn't want to lose her friendship and I'm sure that was a part of it but it was also because he didn't want to expose himself to her. It would give her too much power over him. It would give her the power to hurt him and that I understood. I was only just beginning to realise that I had been hiding for a really long time. I had been hiding because I didn't want to get hurt. I'd been there done that. I acted like I hated this place but if I was honest I would have to admit to myself that if it wasn't for this place I would still be a broken little boy.

I had gone to bed on Saturday night freaked out. Morgana had shocked me twice in one day. First she had kissed me in the hall and then she had revealed that she knew my real name. The name I used to have before my mother remarried. The kiss was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. I'd kissed a lot of girls but none of them as bold as Morgana and none of them had affected me the way she did. I lay awake for most of the night. I kept thinking about everything that had happened on Saturday. Morgana confused me, one minute she was all hot and welcoming in my arms and then she was trying to run away from me. It was strange she was unlike anyone I had ever met before but I felt like she knew me. It both frightened and excited me. I had been alone for such a long time that I unsure I wanted her to get close to me but then I wasn't even sure if she wanted to get close to me.

I'd had the room to myself all evening but I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. I had to get out. I had to escape. I didn't know what I was running from but I needed some fresh air, so I decided to go for a run. Not really my style but I felt the urge to make my muscles burn and since there was not hot eager babe lingering outside my door a run would have to suffice.

I ran down by the lake and as I ran I thought about how Ken and I teased each other. If anyone else had tried to call me queer I probably would have bashed him but I knew he was only joking. Deep down I didn't really find the label offensive, I knew that I made jokes about Jake and Hamilton but that was more about trying to bug them then to hurt them. Not that I'd ever tell them. If someone asked me why I had chosen to torment Jake and Hamilton, I wouldn't be able to answer them because I didn't know. The best I could come up with was that their reactions were amusing. To be completely candid even I had to admit that Hamilton was valid in his choice of lover, there was something about Jake. Something attractive.

Puffed I bent over at the waist laughing at myself. I really was beginning to lose it. Taking big gulps of air I felt the tightness in my chest fade. My breathing was almost back to normal when I felt something solid collide with me. I ended up sprawled out on my arse with something heavy and human shaped draped across my lap. "Are you okay?" I asked, trying to catch my breath once again. The force of impact had knocked the air right out of me.

"Ryder? Is that you?" Morgana's voice came from the weight on my legs.

"Yes it's me. We seem to be attracted to one another. I mean...we keep running into each other." I said, glad that it was dark and that she couldn't see my face.

"I'd say the first was correct. We are attracted to one another.' Morgana whispered. I felt her shift her weight and then I felt her hands follow my arms up to my neck until she had both of her hands firmly clasped on either side of my face. I froze as I felt her lean closer to me, the apex of her thighs met with my quickly hardening penis. I seemed to have no control when she was around. I felt her breath against my neck just before she spoke. 'You know we really should stop meeting like this." She said, as her lips met mine.

A bit slow on the up take, I realised that I had my lips firmly clamped together when I felt her tongue try to slip in between them. I could feel her as she started to pull away panicked I grabbed in the dark for her shoulders. Hoping to meet with her lips and not her nose I brought her back to me opening my mouth over hers. I cupped my right hand behind her head, holding her to me. The kiss started slowly but it heated up fast and I shivered as I felt her hand snake under my Singlet. She touched me tentatively at first but then as her tongue grew bolder so did her hands. Moaning her name I began to rock her against me. We were touching everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Last time we kissed she pulled away from me but this time it was me who pulled away. I had to stop because I was losing control and I didn't do that. "Well," was all I could say when I finally got myself under control.

"Yeah well...' Morgana replied. 'Now what?" She asked moving off my lap to stand.

"We could go on a date. I think that's what is supposed to come next." I suggested, standing up I brushed off my track pants. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I could just make out Morgana's face. She was frowning.

"I don't think that's a very good idea." Morgana replied moving further away from me.

"I don't understand? You just kissed me." I said, confused. I didn't get her at all.

"I know but I don't trust you. I think deep down that you are one of the good guys but you don't trust yourself. So I can't trust you but we'll see." Morgana answered before turning and running back the way she came. I couldn't believe it she had done it again. She had run away from me. Literally. I watched her until I couldn't see her anymore then I went back to my room. She had spoken like things might workout for us eventually but I wouldn't be asking her out again. I'd rather be dead. Actually that's how I kind of felt numb, dead inside once more. I felt like someone had extinguished my flame, I felt cold and I knew I couldn't let her do this to me again.

Friday

YUKO

Yen

It's been two days since Ken's date with Elisha and he hadden't spoken a word to me. For all I knew they were already in love. I had hoped to talk to him before class but when I got to class he was already sitting with her and they looked very cosy. It hurt me to see Ken with someone else watching them laugh together bruised me internally.

I was so busy mourning the loss of my one true love that I didn't realise that Finn was talking to me.

"Yuko?" Finn questioned.

"Sorry?' I replied, 'I didn't hear you." For a moment it looked like he was going to say something about my lack of attention but he didn't.

"I just asked you if you could share a memory from you childhood with the rest of the class?" Finn inquired.

"Ummm okay. When I was six I broke my leg. I fell off my bike. In Japan we have open drains along the side of some roads and I fell into one of them on my bike. I don't remember it hurting but it must have I just don't remember any pain. What I do remember is spending the summer with my best friend and I remember thinking that I had never had as much fun as I did that summer." I looked at Ken I was surprised to see him staring back at me. I turned to look away but he smiled at me and I couldn't turn away from him. Finn was saying something else but it wasn't to me it was to the whole class. I zoned out and before I knew it class was over.

"Hey,' Ken said standing in front of me. 'Nice story."

"I thought so." I was dying to ask about his date but I had promised myself earlier that I wouldn't.

"So slave are you ready to get started on your payment for a bet lost." Ken asked, with another one of his perfect smiles.

"What are you talking about? I saw you sitting with Elisha." I said, unsure of what he was saying.

"So I was. She's a great girl but she's not my type, so we decided to be friends. I guess that means you lose our bet. So I was thinking my slave that we could have lunch together and then tomorrow you can show me how to make Chicken Tasuage. What do you say?" Ken asked.

I couldn't believe it he didn't love her, maybe there was still a chance for us. He wanted to spend time with me that had to be a good sign. "Yes" I replied.

"Yes what?" Ken pushed, still smiling.

"Yes Master" I answered laughing.

"That's better now shall we go?" He asked, holding out his hand. I put my hand in his and I felt like we were almost back to the way we used to be. I decided then that if nothing ever happened between us that I could live with that as long as we were still friends.

FINN

Found

"Morgan, could you please stay behind?" I asked at the end of class. I didn't know what I hoped to achieve but I thought it was about time we locked horns again. She didn't look too happy at my request but she didn't say no. As the rest of my class rushed out of the classroom I waited for my daughter to join me at my desk. I watched as she came and sat on the edge of my desk. I felt my blood boiling when I noticed another tattoo on the inside of her right wrist. It was a tattoo of a daisy chain. She was too young to have two tattoos I wondered if she had more.

"Do you have any other tattoos besides the fairy and the daisy chain?" I asked her between clenched teeth.

"I don't think I should answer that Finn because you might get your panties in a twist." She replied crossing her arms.

"Dad" I said my blood way past boiling it was evaporating.

"Dad what?" She asked.

"Call me Dad not Finn. How many Morgan?" I practically growled.

"Fine Dad, I have a couple alright? Mum told me you had one. Do you still have it?" She asked looking truly interested in my answer.

"Yes, I still have it." I replied reluctantly.

"What is it?" Morgan asked.

"A snake but I was young and stupid when I got it." I answered.

"Yeah me too.' Morgan said as she lifted her skirt to show me the inside of her upper left thigh. The snake was identical to mine, same placement, same everything. 'I found a photo that mum had. I got it done on my sixteenth birthday, just like you." Morgan continued, pulling her skirt back down.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"To feel closer to a father I never really knew, to rebel or because I wanted to? Why did you get yours?" She asked.

"My girlfriend at the time and myself wanted to cement our love. We wanted to make it immortal in ink because we were too young to get married, and too dumb to realise that nothing last forever. We got the snake because I put my foot down about getting a heart, I thought a snake would be manly." I finished, looking at my daughter really looking at her.

"But you still have it. So it must mean something to you still." Morgan said.

It did, I still loved Susanna and I always would. She was my first love but I kept it for another reason as a reminder that love is painful. "It does but it doesn't mean the same things anymore. Will you tell me how many you have?" I asked.

"I have twelve, well actually it's more like twenty both of my feet are covered in butterflies but I count each foot as one tattoo. Look Dad if I don't go now I'm not going to get any lunch. Can we talk later?" Morgan asked as she slid off my desk.

"Sure Maybe this weekend if you're free?" I answered. Watching her walk away from me, I thought about her tattoos. Twelve tattoos and twelve years we had been apart, I wondered if there was any connection.

Saturday

WILL

Weary

I was a chicken, no doubt about it. It was Saturday and almost a week had gone by since Lena and I made love. I had been hiding from her all week. I knew I had to talk to her but I didn't know what I was going to say. How do you tell someone you really care about that you never want to see them again? How do you tell them that the best night of your life was also the worst night of your life?

I didn't want to hurt Lena but I knew that I already had. I was a snake for leaving her to wake up alone. When I got back to my dorm and I realised that she had left, I felt a pain unlike anything my father had ever inflicted upon me with his fists. I had no idea how I was going to make things right with Lena because even if she allows me to talk to her, I'm just going to hurt her again by telling her that we can never be together again. I have to tell her that what we did was a mistake. I thought about writing her a letter but that would have been too cruel.

I spent hours and hours thinking about how I would explain myself to Lena without hurting her. I kept replaying different scenarios in my head of how it might turn out. There was one where she cried, one where she was mad an she threw things at me but my favourite one was where she kissed me and told me that she didn't care about my past or the future. It finished with her making love to me again.

I had been thinking about it and reliving it all week and she had made love to me. It was the first time I had ever truly felt loved. I knew my mother loved me and my friends cared about me but this was something completely different, something totally new. Something all my own.

I kept trying to concentrate on what I was going to say to Lena when I saw her but all I could think about was how she touched me, even before when made love. Her hands were so soft and her touch was so tender as she cared for my injuries and after when she touched me with those same silky hands in passion.

I could almost come just thinking about them. I felt myself getting hard it was becoming a habit every time I thought about that night I got hard. Every time I thought about Lena I got hard. I had spent all week having cold showers and when it got too much jacking off.

I had tried to make out that it was no big deal. We made love, who cares? It was no good, I couldn't it was special. It was my first time. It was her first time, I was the only guy she had ever let touch her to way I had touched her and I wanted it to stay that way. Deep down somewhere inside I wanted to be Lena's first and only. The thought of another guy touching her the way I touched her and in the places I touched her made me want to hit something.

I tried to make myself believe that it was great sex and nothing else but I knew I didn't really believe it. I was in love with Lena and worse was that I had told her so when I thought she was asleep only to realise that she was still awake. She told me she loved me too and it felt like she did at the time but I couldn't let myself believe that it could last. When she realises who I really am and where I come from and that I have nothing to offer her, she will realise that she doesn't really love me or if she does, it won't be enough.

Just as I thought I had gathered enough courage to face Lena, I heard a knock at my door. I knew it was Lena even before I answered the door. I had left a message with Lena's roommate Yuko, asking Lena if we could get together and talk. When I opened the door and saw Lena standing there I forgot who I was and what I wanted to say.

All I wanted to do was kiss her.

LENA

Livid

I don't know who was more surprised Will or I but when he opened the door, he reached out in to the hall grabbed me by the hand and pulled me inside. Before I could say anything he had me up against the door and he was kissing me. For a moment I forgot that I was furious with him and I let him have his way. This is what I had expected to wake up to on Sunday; it's what I wanted to happen. I put my hands on his back and slid them under his shirt. I wanted to feel his skin, but his shirt was too tight and I couldn't get what I wanted. It was when I started to unbutton his shirt that I realised what I was doing and stopped myself. I pushed him a way from me.

"Don't you touch me again,' I said, having trouble breathing. 'Not until you apologise to me. I am not some sex doll you can pull out and play with whenever you feel like it."

"I don't think that, you don't understand I just...' Will turned and walked a way from me. I wondered if he needed the distance as much as I did, even though I was pissed at him all I wanted was for him to hold me. God what a spaz, I really needed to be medicated. This guy had actually left me, ignored me for a week and then just mauled me like I was his property and all I wanted was for him to do it all over again.

"I don't think of you that way. I really care about you but this is all wrong." Will admitted, sitting down on his bed.

"Well, thanks a lot!' I said in reply. 'You really know how to make a girl feel good." I thought about going to sit next to him no the bed but thought better of it, instead choosing to lean against the door.

"That's my point exactly.' Answered Will. 'All I'm going to do is hurt you and the sooner you get away from me the better off you will be. I think you should know that last weekend, when we made love it was the most important thing that has ever happened to me in my life but I think it was a mistake and I think you should leave now."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. I moved so that I was standing in front of him, putting my hands on his shoulders I pushed him so that he was lying on his back on the bed. Climbing on top of him, I sat down on his lap so that he couldn't move.

"You can't push me away that easily.' I said with a smile. I watched as he shook his head at me. 'You can't push me away, you need me and I need you."

I leaned forward so that I could unbutton his shirt. Only ten minutes ago taking his shirt off seemed like such a bad idea but now it felt so right. Will just watched me as I pulled his shirt from his pants. "Sit up." I ordered him, watching as he did as I asked. When his shirt was gone, I smiled at him. Moving before he could realise what I was going to do, I sat forward and licked his left nipple. Biting it once lightly, I then licked it again. Bestowing the same treatment on his right nipple, I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing when I heard him moaning.

Sitting up again I decided it was truth time. "Will?"

"Yes, I..." He answered, clearly confused as to why I had stopped.

"You just told me that being with me was a mistake. I want to be clear, is it a mistake when I do this?" I asked, as I leaned forward once again. Brushing my lips against his I waited until he opened his mouth to answer me. Taking advantage I used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. After a moment of hesitation Will was kissing me back just as passionately as before.

Pulling back I couldn't stop myself from smiling, he was so cute. "Well?' I asked. 'Was that a mistake?"

"I...guess" Will answered, looking even more confused now. Not giving him a second to start analysing everything I kissed him again. Thrusting my tongue against his I pulled him against me. I had way too many clothes on for this conversation, breaking contact for just a second I ripped off my dress. Sitting back down on his lap I felt his cock harden.

Looking down I watched as Will lifted his hands to caress my breasts. "Is this a mistake?" I asked moaning, when he leaned up to take one of my nipples in his mouth. Shaking his head he cupped my ass pulling me closer to his hard dick. There was something else I had to say before we went too much further but when I felt Will slip his hand under the elastic of my underwear and start to pull them off I completely forgot what it was. Reaching for his belt I returned the favour.

Before I knew it he was inside me, using his legs Will rolled me over until I was on my back. Wrapping my legs around his waist I tried to keep him inside me but he was too strong for me. Pulling almost the whole way out he thrust back in hard and deep. I felt a tingle that started in my toes and began to travel up my legs to where my body began. Moaning I dragged my nails up his flank. Grabbing his head I pulled him down for a kiss, my body on the verge of explosion. Just before I reached my climax, I realised that it felt different this time, stronger and more real.

When I could breathe again I tried to speak but I couldn't. I felt so complete lying in Will's arms but before I could voice my thoughts he rolled away from me. "Will?" I asked, as he started to put on his clothes. He was kind of scaring me.

"I'm sorry Lena." He said pulling his jeans on. Yep, he was scaring me. I didn't know how to stop him from pulling away from me. I decided to try the direct approach.

"Will, do you love me?" I closed my eyes but then I forced myself to open them I needed to see his face when he told me his answer.

"I... You know that I do but that doesn't change the fact that I'm no good for you." Will replied.

"I love you too.' I declared, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him close against my warm naked body. 'I will never leave you and I will never hurt you." I whispered. I felt him release a breath he had been holding. Will turned in my arms and held me close, right before he tightened his grip I saw a tear slip from his good eye. Kissing him on the chest I made a promise to myself never to break my whispered vow. I would help him learn how to trust in my love for him.

_Will's voice over:- The Aftermath. It's what's left behind when things change. You can't go back no matter how much you want to and sometimes you shouldn't try. Life happens the way it happens for a reason. Call it fate or kismet but no matter what you believe there is a plan for all of us. Fragments of everything we do, every choice and every action all contribute to what happens in the future. I don't know if giving into my weakness for Lena will be my downfall or my crowning glory but one thing I do know, from now on it's all about the aftermath._


End file.
